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How to deal with a lazy 18 year old??

My 18 year old daughter will not get a job, she does not help around the house, she comes and goes as she pleases. I ask her to do something she will ask me why cant I get off my lazy ass and do it. She stopped going to school but is going back on the 12th of this month. We have stopped giving her money, buying her stuff and taking her places. She does not drive, she wanted to at 16 but her dad and I felt that until she behaves and follows rules she should not have a car. She can now get her license but is not motivated. We offered to help her buy a car if she graduates and gets a part time job to pay for insurance and gas. Seems like all she wants to do is smoke pot and hang out with her friends. This will get her no where in life, yes we got her into a Rehab program, thearpy, family thearpy she just does not see a problem.


Asked by mommiedear at 1:29 PM on Jan. 6, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 14 (1,374 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Mom..why should she change anything. She gets free rent, free transportation, free food, showers when she chooses, cable and phone access probably and nothing is demanded in return. 18 or 48 you cannot just kick her out.. It is her legal residence regardless that she pays no rent. You must have a 30 eviction notice legally served to her. It costs about 30 bucks here. You tell her, with Dad on board if he's around. Times are changing. Beginning March 1st $200 for rent will be due. If she doesn't want to pay it she is free to go. She should also be charged something for utilities, and food. Oh and btw..since she is still living in Moms house, even paying rent..Mom still makes the rules.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 2:16 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • kick her out. or call the cops on her for the weed, kick some sense into her. if you just LET her get away with living there and be lazy and doing drugs she's going to coninue to do it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:32 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • I agree with the previous poster. Kick her out and make her realize how easy she has it. She'll learn how hard life is and that she can't just live off everyone else.

    Answer by Rebecca7708 at 1:34 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • She's old enough to realize what she is doing and also old enough to be responsible for her actions. While she was living under my roof, she'd would either follow the rules or it would be time for her to find her own place to live. I would find a time that all of you could sit down and discuss the living arrangements and what you expect from her. She either follows it or time for her to move out.

    Answer by Sue41 at 1:37 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • Its harsh but yeah out you get. My dad did to us. Once we we're 18 we were gone unless we were in school, or had a job so we could get our own place.

    Answer by CorCorsmomma at 1:40 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • I would say get a job and help around here or get the hell out I know that sounds bad to do to your own child but u r enabling her!!

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 1:46 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • I would tell her she has a month to find a job or she's out.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:49 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • my brother is the exact same way. he does not have a job and always tries to leave when he wants. he recently went out and got his lip pierced. My parents give him no money, they dont take him anywhere (unless for school), and do not let him use the car. They will realize when they have to move out how tough life really is. I a gree with GrnEyedGrandma about the rent and food. Some 18 year olds need a swift kick in the hiney! Good luck!

    Answer by Aidansmom2728 at 2:51 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • Have a military recruiter come talk to her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:55 PM on Jan. 6, 2009