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When is the right time to introduce my daughter to the man I'm dating???

My daughter's father passed away when she was 2. She has never really had any other father fighure in her life except for my dad. She gets attached to fatherly firgues quick. The last guy I dated for 8 months. She got so attached that she started calling him daddy. I was concerned about that. He was fine with it but when we broke up she took it hard. She thought it meant he didn't love her anymore. My daughter wants a daddy but I am so cautious about introducing her to anyone that I'm dating in case it does'nt work. So I guess I want to know when do you think is the right time? How long should be dating before I introduce her???

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Slpingbuty

Asked by Slpingbuty at 1:45 PM on Jul. 16, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (9)
  • Personally, I would wait until marriage is on the table. My step-children went through something similar: their mother left when they were very small, and of course it was hard on them. Then my husband had a live-in girlfriend and they became attached. When she left it was trauma all over again.

    Children are very resilient, but you have to remember that your daughter is looking for a father, not a boyfriend. It will be much easier for her to not give her heart away again until everyone is sure it will be for good this time.
    sioleabha

    Answer by sioleabha at 1:50 PM on Jul. 16, 2008

  • My husband didn't meet my DD until he and I were seriously dicussing marriage and our future together. Since she would be a huge part of that I figured it was time for them to meet and form their relationship.

    I don't know if there's a 'right amount of time'. Every situation is different, and you've got to make the call based on that.
    desert_diva

    Answer by desert_diva at 1:51 PM on Jul. 16, 2008

  • First of all, YEAH to you or being concerned!!! I know so many single moms that just do it and don't really think about what it does to their kiddos, so just the fact that you are concerned means that you are SO far ahead of the game! My mom introduced me to TONS of Bf's it was NOT a good situation...I REALLY wished that she would have waited- how long? I would say wait at LEAST 6 months, then only bring him around occasionally- likeon the weekends, or one night a week. Give her time to get o know him, but not too fast. You can't keep him from her, but planning daily or nightly trips and visits can be rough. I think you will make the best decision for your daughter though- again, you are already ahead of many moms because you KNOW it is a hard thing for them to go through :) Well DONE!
    jessicasea

    Answer by jessicasea at 2:29 PM on Jul. 16, 2008

  • I say not until she's way older.
    I don't think you should be introducing him as your BF to your dd. Just a friend to begin with if you do. I think it's things like this that screw up kids and grown up to be adults making bad decisions.

    If it were me I'd stay alone until she was an adult then start dating. Introduce her to who you're dating when she's around 18-19. That way she'll grow up with higher morals about herself. I wouldn't want my child to think mommy was a hoe while I was a child, maybe that's the way I should be also?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:40 PM on Jul. 16, 2008

  • " I think it's things like this that screw up kids and grown up to be adults making bad decisions."

    There are a whole bunch of them here asking questions everyday about what to do. I wonder how many of them came from a background of mothers dating different men.

    I for one would be afraid of datin any man now a days. From STD's to sex offenders. Way to much of those things floating around. I'm so glad i'm still married even though married men have affairs. But I thank the lord that everything is aye ok for me now. I wouldn't want to be in these shoes. And if I were i'd probably will still by myself for a loooong while because of the crap that is going on these days. It's scary datin
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:45 PM on Jul. 16, 2008

  • I didn't introduce my kids who were 12 to my boyfriend until we were discussing marriage and our future about a year into our relationship.
    preciousneine

    Answer by preciousneine at 2:57 PM on Jul. 16, 2008

  • Not until you are 100% sure that this relationship is going to stick. If that means a year, then wait that year.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 3:11 PM on Jul. 16, 2008

  • I agree with siolea because your daughter's already been through so much.
    TXdanielly

    Answer by TXdanielly at 3:39 PM on Jul. 16, 2008

  • kudos to all the good parents on this one! i totally agree and wish all parents thought of their children when trying to find (the one)!
    i agree not until marriage is being disscussed. if they do meet your daughter before ahnd i would stress that this is mommys friend , not her dady. one day when things get serious maybe you can explain hes gonna be your husband so that will make him her daddy. but if theyre around i would definately make it clear that this is a "friend" and not your new daddy!
    clasemomma

    Answer by clasemomma at 4:50 PM on Jul. 16, 2008

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