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Do you SAHM feel like a single mom?

I feel like I'm doing this by myself some days. DH comes home from work and gives me attitude when I hand him the baby so I can pee for the first time of the day. I feel like I'm a parent 24/7 and he only parents from 5pm-10pm and the rest is on me. I know he cant feed the baby, no boobs and all, but he could rock him back to sleep instead he sleeps. The only time he helps at night is if I cant get DS to go back to sleep after an hour of rock and bouncing. It makes for very very long days.......*sigh*


Asked by Anonymous at 1:58 PM on Jan. 6, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Wow, i definitely understand what your feeling. i felt that way for the longest and still do a lot of the time. i do agree with anonymous, b/c it could be Way worse, but i understand you. my fiance gets home right before 530, but then he needs time to eat dinner, shower, etc. then he's asleep about 10pm cuz he's gotta wake up in the morning. i know he needs this time so sometimes i feel bad for getting angry, but it took both of us to create our son and nobody said it was gonna be easy. my fiance gives me attitude sometimes too n that's when i really get upset. i dont think its fair. i deserve a break too. being a mom is a tougher job. sometimes i would LOVE to go to work and come home and sleep through the night!!! grrrrrrr. and the days can really be long here too. how old is your baby? if you ever need someone 2 talk 2 just send a message

    Answer by princess021 at 2:46 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • MAKE him help , don't expect he will , a lot of men don't understand how to parent until the child gets bigger - don't give him a choice , force it .

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:00 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • Nope. I LOVE LOVE being a SAHM and every second and minute I have being one. I was actually a single mom and I know that being a single mom is 10 times more difficult. Be thankful you have him there at night so you can pee LOL. Being a single mom is as hard as you have it now times 100.

    Answer by gemgem at 2:00 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • I HATE this question. There's no way a 2-parent household can feel like a single mom. A single mom has one income, one set of hands, etc. There's no second person to even change a battery or a lightbulb, etc. He helps you in some ways and so there's no way you're like a single mom

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:01 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • I felt like that when our son was first born. I went to high school, college, and worked. My hubby wasnt really sure what to do. Just talk to him. Let him know that you need help when he gets home! My hubby is so much more involved now. Dont worry it will be ok. Keep your head up! Good luck.

    Answer by Aidansmom2728 at 2:04 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • Not at all. My husband helps me from everything to household chores to taking care of our son. I am very luck and I know it!

    Answer by AlliO2 at 2:06 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • I work from home and my husband has been very supportive, he holds my little one almost constantly when he's home, which gives me a much needed break after a busy day at home. I would sit down and talk to him about this. Once my husband stayed home and watched our little one when I was sick by himself, except when he brought her to me to bf. He could not believe all the work it entailed. Maybe your husband needs that reality check. Not to mention all he is missing out on. They grow so fast and he will regret not spending as much time with the baby as possible. I know work is exhausting, too, but so is being a SAHM and it sounds like he may not realize that. Could he be resentful you're at home with the baby? That was an issue with a friend of mine and her husband took it out on her by being distant when he was home.

    Answer by MommyJanelle at 2:08 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • My husband was more like that with our first child. We were young... he wasn't quite ready for fatherhood.

    Now that we have 4... it's different LOL He calls 2-3 times a day to check in & if the kids are giving me a hard time, he talks to them right then. Once he's home, it's 50/50 if not all on him. If I've had a rough day, he'll tell me to go hibernate -- pile up in bed with the door closed and watch TV while he takes over. We homeschool, so when he gets home, that's "PE" time --- he gets out in the yard with the boys and they break a sweat. On weekends, at least one day/wk, he takes over and the day is mine to go do what I want. And he encourages me often to take a weekend for myself --- go get a hotel somewhere.

    Give him some time... he may evolve LOL

    Answer by Laura1229 at 2:19 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • Yes I do know how you feel and I do not hate questions like these. What I do hate is answers left by anon that have no good advice and only provide nasty & smug answers! That being said, you should definately talk to DH. We just recently had our 2nd & my DH still finds it difficult. The other day after trying to put our DD back to sleep he told me that he was frustrated because it takes him twice as long to do things with the baby then it does me. I think that it was his way of saying that I was good at it and that he appreciated me. He just may need some direction as to what works best with your child & when he does help out be sure to let him know how much you appreciate it.

    Answer by maddiemygirl at 2:44 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • I love being a SAHM... and yes when I was nursing I felt like a "single" parent because my dh couldn't help with most of the stuff except changing diapers. My guess is you feel overwhelmed by being at home all day with the baby and secretly you are a little jealous of the fact that he isn't. We have all been there at one time or another but it does get better and if you want him to do more then tell him to do it, he isn't a mind reader and it isn't fair for you to assume he will just do it. Also just like you he works hard all day and when he gets home he has to work too at being a husband and father. How would you feel if you just got home from the grocery store and were handed a pile of laundry to fold. Take the baby to the bathroom (in a bouncy seat) with you and give him a moment to breath and be happy has come home to his loving wife and wonderful baby.

    Answer by MNMom247365 at 2:58 PM on Jan. 6, 2009