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Does anyone have a out of reach 14 yr. old daughter that thinks she knows it all?

My daughter is really getting out of control. About a month ago I found out she had unprotected sex, had a night out with drinking, and just suspended for fighting but luckly she wasn't pregnant and I just recently just got her on the birthcontrol shot. I'm afraid that something else worse is about to happen to her. Now I keep her home but she has this attitude that won't let up to me and my husband you is her stepdad. I was just wanting to know if anyone else has had this semilar cituation? And what helped you guys out.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:46 PM on Jan. 6, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (13)
  • Didn't anyone ever tell you that all 13-21 year olds know everything and us adults are idiots?!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:40 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • She must be related to my 16 year old son. Same attitudes. I blame alot on peer pressure. Kids grow up being told they have rights and they do, but first they have to learn responsibility and respect for their parents. I remember those days myself as my parents were so stupid. But they suddenly became alot smarter by the time I reached about 20 (Smile). Try to think phase and she's trying to find independence. If she is forced to stay home, the fight may get stronger. I'm not saying let her run, but see if you can work out a deal if she does this/that, may have a friend night out (a safe one, of course). And, great job on the birth control as we can't be with these kids all of the time and it's nice to know there is some protection used. Hopefully, the guy uses it also considering disease, etc. Good luck -- we're with you and we all hear you loud and clear. Frustration and parenting of teens #101!
    Squirrel1001

    Answer by Squirrel1001 at 4:00 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • Welcome to my world. My daughter is now 18 but at age 14 was having sex, I took her to the doctor she got on the pill and a lecture from her doctor about STDS. Shes the child who knows it all, very strong willed and has a nasty attitude. She has been suspended for fighting she was actually put on probation for the fight since the parents of the other child pressed charges. At 15 she started to sneakout of the house, smoke pot, ditch school. I would call the police to turn her in for ditching, nothing was ever done.  I would punish her she would run away.  I got her into counselling, rehab, nothing helped.  I got myself a good therapistand once I learned to not feed into her drama, and my husband and I got on the same page in parenting things got better.  Unfortunitally she is still a nightmare! But I did create it.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:59 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • I have a 13yr old,14 in Feb.- she's in CHECK! I'll put my FOOT in her ASS ! Plus we TALK to each other. The "Talk" was about penises and vaginas. A bird can't get you pregnant and neither can a bee. I kept it real w/ her and shared stories about my past expierences. Don't let history repeat itself! She hears my voice in her head when she's out there because she knows mommy's been there and I know. I know her friends. Where she goes and when.She's no angel: got caught cutting class 4 mths ago in the school bthrm with her BFF and 2 boys.Know what I did? I PUT MY FOOT IN HER ASS. Straightened her right up. Just finished going to 3interviews at the top H.S.'s in Phila. Hormones are real, so I also told her about masturbation. There's no shame in it. Your hand can't get you pregnant! Remeber our girls are smaller replica's of ourselves. What would it have taken for you to straighten out at that age?
    Dmommy4

    Answer by Dmommy4 at 7:17 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • im glad you got the shot for her thats a plus cause people can forget the pill.
    i was just like this growing up until i relized on day when i was fucked up i had no one to protect me anymore(my mom gave up on me).DONT GIVE UP.
    Wytegirl

    Answer by Wytegirl at 8:22 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • I would slap the piss out of her. This is when alternate discipline methods get thrown out the window
    Zarviemom19

    Answer by Zarviemom19 at 8:48 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • When my son gets that attitude his dad tells him quick, move out while you still know everything. If the out of control behavior continues I would strip her room of everything but the bed and the dresser and take the door off the hinges, (privacy is a privilege) and make her earn everything back.

    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 5:30 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Yes, I do. Its been a source of great pain for me. My heart is broken over the fact that I feel my daughter is acting out due to her lack of nurturing on mine and her dads part. We have vowed to change that. I recently found out about her sneaking out of my house at night and going God knows where. She confessed because the guilt was eating her up. I have removed all cell phones, computers and other forms of communication and locked our doors with double sided dead bolts and nailed the windows. I also told her that we would get her into counseling and really do our best to make this work. I think dealing with the root of the problem is more effective than just dealing with the symptoms or behaviors. I am hopeful.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 2:19 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Hi. I just signed up for a class called "Active Parenting of Teens" that is offered in a school district near my home. I interviewed the instructor for a story that I posted on my Web site and decided right then and there that I need the class! There is a book by the same name - Active Parenting of Teens. Here is a link to the story I posted on my site: http://suchasmartmom.com/category/smart-kids/sk-high-school/ I seriously learned so much from this woman in an hour-long conversation. As she said - we're the responsible adults who need to work on changes in order to get along with our kids. There are strategies that work. Best advice: Don't take things personally. Good luck. Ruth

    SuchaSmartMom

    Answer by SuchaSmartMom at 2:22 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Well im 15 and have been in that same situation, not as a parent but as the teen. Its a stage 98% of teens go through. As a parent just teach her all the cons of what she is doing but as for stopping it there is really nothing you can do.... like really i know many moms would disagree with me but if you try and stop her or threaten to punish her it will just get worse. Oh and she probably isnt at home like you think at night unless you have bars on her window. Or if she is at home she probably has guys outside them.. i know i did....
    Cont..
    almostamommyof2

    Answer by almostamommyof2 at 10:23 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

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