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My 2-year old son always HAS to get what he wants. if he can't have the cookie or watch his show -- he'll scream, cry, hit...does anyone have any experience or suggestions?

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sallyplusthree

Asked by sallyplusthree at 3:00 PM on Jan. 6, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (12)
  • he starts doing that either leave him where he's at and walk away till he calms down or put him in his room until he calms down.

    i used it on my oldest when she was 2 and it worked pretty well. she learned mommy isn't going to pay attention to her when she's being bad and she will only get things when she's good.
    chyna_doll

    Answer by chyna_doll at 3:05 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • I am right there with you! My son is only 18 months and he does the same thing has huge fits even hits his head on the floor. I am going to start trying time out when he hits and when he throws huge fits I try and walk out of the room he is in and he will normally stop after a few min. I hope with time he will learn it won't get him what he wants to act like that. But I do give in a lot so I know I need to work on that.
    nicole541

    Answer by nicole541 at 3:07 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • The philosophy in our house is "Parents win".

    My DH and I really strive to be consistent and we can put up with a lot of whining. A LOT. If you give in now, it will only be harder when they are older.
    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 3:17 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • Every toddler does that.
    If you give him what he wants, he learns that it works and keeps doing it.
    LET HIM SCREAM AND CRY!
    Pick a time-out / calm down spot and put him there. Except for dragging him back to it, ignore him. Pretend to read a book or write a shopping list. But do not try to distract him, do not try to reason with him, do not interact with him at all. Any attention you give him just tells him to keep doing it. He wants your attention even more than the cookie. Don't give him either!
    Once he is calm, take him in your lap, hug him and say 3 short sentences like:
    I know you were angry I didn't give you the cookie. (You understand what he is feeling)
    It's not time for cookies right now. (Very short reason why not)
    Let's find a nice apple or banana to eat instead. (A good alternative that he can have or do)

    This takes time, patience, and consistency but it does work.
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 3:19 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • good luckHoney let me tell ya as a mom who gave in once in a while and now has a 15 year old who will occasionally start a fit in the store- DO NOT GIVE IN! Even doing it once in a while reinforces the tantrum because it might work. Just tell him that when he calms down you will talk to him and walk away. My son used to start hitting me and follow me around when I tried to walk away so I would go in the bathroom and shut the door, I knew exactly where he was because he was right outside the door banging his little fists and head on it! The problem came when I just didn't want to deal with the fit and gave in.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:30 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • dont give in and he will stop
    amymartinez0214

    Answer by amymartinez0214 at 3:52 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • lol my son is younger than yours but he started doing the same thing. I just let him lay there and cry it out, Just until he realizes thats not the way he should behave. It takes time and defin. patients but I believe it will work. lol I'm still doing it so just look around and see what other people put. GOOD LUCK!!
    DevonWmommy86

    Answer by DevonWmommy86 at 4:20 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • my daughter is two and is EXACTLY the same way!!! What to do???
    kaitsmom06

    Answer by kaitsmom06 at 4:47 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • I know is VERY HARD - but is you leave the room when he does that and DO NOT give what he wants he will stop... he will do that about 3 to 4 times and the crying will get shorter and shorter.
    Paty_hotmommy

    Answer by Paty_hotmommy at 5:13 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • jlhs just let him scream. I have left grocery stores with my cart filled high to put a stop to temper tantrums of my three. I don't buy at checkout whatever they grab as we've been checking out. Discipline responsibily now so they are responsibile later. I wore earplugs to take off the pressure of their screams and it calmed me down and made me more rational. Try that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:31 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

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