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How do you know when it is time to let go of your marriage and get a divorce?

I have been seperated for about a 1yr 1/2 , but the last 3yrs of my marriage has been very hard before I completely decided to move out for a period of time over 6 months. This past year I met a really great guy who really was there for me and helped me to stay afloat and not fall apart. We have really grown to love each other and we are now living together. I have two beautiful girls with my husband. I am comtemplating divorce b/c my husband is dating someone as well, but telling me he wants to make things work with me but none of the problems that has gotten us to this point has improved. He is the same person he was before I left and he keeps saying he has changed and that he wants to be with me but he is still hanging on to the other women.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:40 PM on Jan. 6, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • divorce him its not worth it to your kids to go back to the same situation..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:43 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • I was seperated for a year and a half before I finally decided to get a divorce. Its hard whether you are ready or not. Its a big decision. I was totally ready for mine, and had moved on, but it was still hard when it came right down to it.
    musikdoll

    Answer by musikdoll at 3:43 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • I honestly do not understand why you are asking this question. And I'm not trying to be rude. It's just that you are living with another man. Do you want to say sorry hon but I'm going back to my husband??? It just seems a lil strange to me.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 3:47 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • I think you already know the answer. If you have any interest in working it out with your husband you would not be living with another man and the same goes for your husband. At this point it does not sound like there is a marriage outside of a piece of paper. You both have two daughters to worry about now. Staying married while both of you are with other people is only going to confuse them.
    maddiemygirl

    Answer by maddiemygirl at 3:48 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • What maddiemygirl said is simiular to what I was going to say.
    I know you just need confirmation before moving ahead because divorce is a big step for everyone involved
    wheresthewayout

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 3:58 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • You know when to let go and move on when the fight isn't worth it anymore. When you wake up in the morning and realize that everything that you're fighting to keep isn't worth the fight.
    TheDiva320

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 4:12 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • I read this question because Im kinda in the same boat. I wanted to see the advice that was told. You all have helped me too. Thanks.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:40 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • ok 1. why are you both going out of the marriage without being divorced first? and 2. it sounds like a lil jealousy on your part because he's seeing someone else and telling you he wants to make it work with you..what did you think he'd wait for you? when things go sour let it go and get it finalized otherwise your both putting off the inevitable..and by not getting the divorce before you did your extra's it just made him think there was still a chance..have a friend doing the same needless to say we are no longer friends cause i told her the same thing and well the truth hurts..
    rikaree

    Answer by rikaree at 10:40 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

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