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New bedtime routine

I have started a routine in the last week by feeding my son a bottle until he is almost asleep and then laying him down for a nap/bed. It was working out smoothly until last night and today. When i lay him down i rub his back and say its night night time, now if i stop rubbing his back he sits up and starts crying. So i will walk out of the room and let him cry for five min. I will go back in if he is still crying and say its night night time and lay him back down. He has just kept on crying. I dont want to take him out cause he will think he won (a very strong minded little boy). I also dont want to have to stand there and rub his back for 20 min. What should I do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:09 PM on Jul. 16, 2008 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (4)
  • How old is he? If he's a toddler, it's okay to let him cry for about 15-20 minutes before you go back in the room. It takes about three days for a routine to change...I believe in the Ferber worked for me. (It sounds like you also are trying the ferber method) did not work for my second baby...who is autistic. He cried for hours.

    Depending on how old your baby is, you should let him cry for a few minutes. If you can't stand it - step out to the porch with your cell phone (or watch) with a book and read for ten minutes. If you go back in after ten minutes and the baby is still crying, go back in and rub his back, lay him back down and say "Night, night". Then repeat the first part...If after two or three times and he is still not asleep, he's just not ready to sleep yet.

    Answer by lrobles1983 at 2:20 PM on Jul. 16, 2008

  • Well if it was working....just take it he's trying to see if he can have some wiggle room, testing the boundaries so to speak...Does Mom really mean it's night-night time??

    I would go in every so often reassure him like you are doing, and leave again, give it more time, and go back if I have too. I'm sure in a few more days it will go back to the way it was before.

    Answer by SAHMinIL at 2:22 PM on Jul. 16, 2008

  • You're exactly right. He knows (depending on how old he is...and kids are pretty smart...they figure it out pretty young) that you will come back if he cries a little longer.

    It sounds awful, but it really did work for us with two of our kids. The first night is always the worst. Just know this: He's safe in his crib...a little crying is not going to hurt him. (Again, we started this method when my kids were around 6 months...old enough to self-sooth...don't try this on a 6 week old.)

    Good luck.

    Answer by lrobles1983 at 2:56 PM on Jul. 16, 2008

  • It depends on how old your son is. I went through this with my son at the age of 6 months. I finally just let him cry it out. I would put him to bed, he would cry for 5 mins or so, then I would go back in there one time and lay him back down and tell him it was "nite-nite time". I would only go back in the room that one time.
    The first night he cried for almost 45-50 mins before he fell asleep. The next night he only cried for 15-20 mins. By the 3rd night I could lay him down, and he would put himself to sleep w/out crying. My son is almost 3yrs old now, and I can still put him to bed and he says there and falls asleep on his own.
    It only took my son 3 days, it may take your child longer (or maybe not as long). Be patient!

    Answer by bookay at 5:43 PM on Jul. 16, 2008

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