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Why do some hubbies/SO treat you differently once they have you?

What I mean by that is...when my husband and I were just going out, he made sure to make me feel special and happy...nice comments, made a big deal of anniversaries, and so on...everything in his power to have me... I did the same.

Now, we're married. I still act and do the same as we did back then. But he doesn't. He never compliments anymore. I fix my hair all nice today and instead of saying, "you look pretty", it's "why are you fixing your hair?" and that's it. Or our anniversaries are no big deals anymore.

So my question is why do they treat you differently once they have you? Shouldn't they keep treating you the same way as before to keep you?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:59 PM on Jan. 6, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Hey I used to give blowjobs. LOL What's sauce for the goose...

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:02 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • You see a person's real side once you marry them, thats what I have always been told.

    Answer by HollyRose at 4:03 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • yes they should and i'm so grateful that mine does. even when i haven't done my hair or make up he still says i look beautiful and he tells me like a 100 times a day he loves me. after awhile though i think men just get used to you being you and they don't seem to appreciate it as much. i wonder how long this will last with my husband but i really could care less if he didn't do all that cause i know his level of love for me and i'm sure that after awhile i will get in the same rut as him. in fact i think i'm already there. he certainly appreciates me more then i do him.

    Answer by melody77 at 4:04 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • lol. Mine is the same way! Now days I fix my hair or dress nice, to break up the day or just to do it he thinks I'm going somewhere. Not a "hey you look good", rather it's "where you going"
    My sister in law and me were talking the other day. We both married brothers around the same time. We both had fun with our men while dating and thought it was always going to be that way! and now all these guys do is watch tv. I got her beat! mine picks his nose when he watches tv! I should have stuck to dating! Way more fun then marriage....

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:24 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • My man has gotten better with age. He pays more attention. Remembers more things. Compliments me more. Is better in tune with my emotions and moods..

    But that's because I didn't settle. When things got bad (and they have over the years), I've told him flat out what I EXPECT from him in a relationship with me, and if he can't give me it then he'd best move along and not waste my time..

    When we seem to be settling into a "routine", and I only get dressed up to go out, or he's glued to a video game, we call each other on it.. He'll point out how I'm only putting on my tight jeans for the doctor to check out my ass, or I'll tell him that he's spending more time trouble-shooting getting his game to work than he has on foreplay. We both heed the others "criticisms" and put more into the relationship.

    Answer by Liyoness at 4:36 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • it's like a man who goes fishing. He baits his hook. He catches the fish. He thinks he's done.

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:48 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • Part of it, I think, is that the game is over. Men are very conquest oriented and he has won the conquest. He has you. He doesn't feel he has to try because he doesn't think he's in danger of losing you anymore. Before marriage you could always leave. Now, he's under the impression that you can't.
    The only thing I can tell you is to try and get him to see how wonderful you are by stopping being so wonderful. Tell him that until things change he can fend for himself. Don't do anything for him. He might see the light then.

    Answer by airmanswife1006 at 7:33 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

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