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I need some advice.

My son is in the same class as the boy across the street. They are the only kids in the neighborhood, along with my other son. The boy's mother from what I can SEE, does not supervise her kids AT ALL when they are outside. I never see her, hear her, nothing. She's never outside when they are. The child sits in the middle of the road, throws rocks, etc. My kids are not the best behaved in the world, by any means, but when the kids across the street are here, my kids are horrible. They don't listen, they do things they would never otherwise do. Examples: my son climbed over the fence today to go play with this friend. My kids know they are not allowed to play in the street, but when these kids come over, they go in the road and my kids follow w/o hesitation. con't...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:38 PM on Jan. 6, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (4)
  • I feel like I'm babysitting her kids by default just b/c she's not there. My kids want these kids to play in our backyard, but our dog can bite, and I'm afraid these kids will get bit, and she'll want to sue me. I can't just tell my kids the reasons why I don't want them to play with these other kids, b/c they'll tell th kids who will tell mom, and since I have to live so close to her, I don't want the conflict. But, I don't know what to do to not have to be in charge of these kids and not have my kids acting like these other kids. Does anyone have any advice?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:39 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • Well being a mom doesnt mean always making best friends with the neighbors. You have to just put your foot down and say no. I would go over there and introduce yourself if you havent already. Tell her you noticed her kids and yours play together and are around the same age. Explain to her that your kids arent allowed to play in the street and that you cannot have them in the backyard because of the dog. Ask her what she thinks would be the best idea to keep the kids supervised so they can enjoy each others friendship. I would do that first and then make her aware of guidelines you expect from your kids and anyone at your home.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 5:42 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • If her kids are playing in the street tell them to get out of it. If they don't, talk to the mom. If she does nothing, call CPS because that is dangerous. You don't need to give your children a reason why you are limiting their time with these playmates. You're the mom and that's why.
    MommyAddie

    Answer by MommyAddie at 6:41 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • I agree with gemgem on introducing yourself to your neighbor and discussing some ground rules. Remember that you are in charge of your children and you should give them very specific ground rules to follow if they want to play with the neighbor and consequences if they do not follow the rules. You could also explain your expectations and rules to the neighbor when he is allowed to play at your house. It always helps to lay out in detail exactly what is allowed and what is not. Consequence for not following your rules would result in not being allowed to play with the neighobor for a while. This should help stop the problem.
    Lisahi

    Answer by Lisahi at 9:54 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

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