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How do I get my daughter involved?

My 12 year old daughter does not want to go to her sunday school class. She says its boring and she has no friends in there. I teach the 3 year olds, so she goes with me and helps with that. She also won't go to the wednesday night youth group thing. i want her to be involved in church activities. She will make herself sick if she knows she has to go. She worries the whole night before and won't go without taking one of her own friends, but I can't pick someone up every sunday morning to do this, and should that even be necessary? Advice please.


Asked by hw1977 at 5:42 PM on Jan. 6, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

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Answers (11)
  • Well when I was the same age I didnt much like my moms church either and didnt like youth group or sunday school. My mom never made me go to sunday school and let me sit with her in regular service. I dont see a problem with letting her sit with you on sundays if shes helping you never know maybe one day she will be a sunday school teacher herself. As for youth group dont force it. She will just end up resentful and not liking church. If she will only go with a friend pick up the friend when you can and anyway its a good thing maybe the friend isnt saved ya know? But never force it down her throat.

    Answer by gemgem at 5:44 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • Personally, I wouldn't push her to go. She's at that age where she's going to start questioning things & trying to 'find herself' & wants to 'fit in' --- and maybe going to church just isn't "cool" right now for her LOL. She might even go through a phase of exploring other faiths, who knows? But I think that making her go when she clearly doesn't want to will get you the opposite effect than you're hoping for.

    If you're not comfortable with letting her just sit out church.... do some of her close friends attend a different church that you'd be comfortable in letting her attend? Maybe she'd be more inclined to try that -- it'd be more like hanging out with friends than going to church with Mom (remember when you were 12? lol).

    G'luck with however you decide to proceed.

    Answer by Laura1229 at 5:48 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • Has she been involved from the beginning? If they start young, they'll likely continue. If she's content to help you with the little ones, let her! She may come around later.

    Answer by Lexylex at 6:01 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • a friend of mine actually goes to one church and then she put her kids in an outside church for a youth/preteen thing to be with other kids and this church has a different program, and they love it. They go to the things at the one churhc and then really get stuff out of the other program bc it is a more developed program for pre teen kids and they learn so much a bout the bible and God, So maybe there is a reason that she is bored, or doesnt want to go. Ask her to explain why, and then go from their.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:09 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • Worrying the whole night before and not going without a friend sends up a big red flag. Something is wrong here and you need to get to the bottom of it.

    Answer by jaimie175 at 6:11 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • I wouldn't push her to go either.  The harder you push the more you will push her away from your faith.


    Answer by beeky at 6:23 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • Why don't you ask the youth leader or pastor to talk to her and try and encourage her to come? My husband and I are the youth pastors at our church and we have dealt with similar situations. We always went to the children personally and expressed how much we would like to have them apart of our group and invited them to come along with us on youth outings. Eventually the children saw that we were sincere and started to become more involed with the youth group.

    Answer by Sis.Jackson at 6:26 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • I would let her continue to help you with the little ones on Sunday. However, for the youth services take her and a friend. This way she's going to youth, getting involved, and her friends are also going so it's helping her friends also.

    Answer by bonn777 at 6:41 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • I think the worse thing you can do is force her to go. You may even need to look deeper into why she doesn't like it so much. Instead of speaking with leaders of the church you may need to trust your childs instincts. I agree with Jaimie175, Momma look further into it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:18 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • When I was in Jr High, my mom let me go to a different church. She drove me to another town (not very far away) where all of my friends went to Youth Group. Maybe if some of her friends attend a church you're comfortable with, and they have youth activities, she'll get excited about it again.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:31 PM on Jan. 6, 2009