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I am really having trouble with my sons behavior when he comes home from spending the weekend with his dad?????

My divorce of three years was finalized October 16 of 2008. Until the court date my husband really didnt have anything to do with him over the last year and a half. I just feel he is trying to turn my 13year old against me. My oldest son of 18years of age lives with his dad. He hasnt talked me in over 4months. My youngest has told me on different occasions that his dad and his dads brothers sit around and bad mouth me. He doesnt pay support, theres times I just wish I didnt have to let my son go with him on weekends. The last 2 times he has come home not wanting to talk to me and has been very disrespectful with no explanation. The more I try and talk to him it seems the madder he gets. I have made mistakes in my life that I am not proud and I am beginning to think my ex has shared that information with my oldest???

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Connie922

Asked by Connie922 at 7:48 PM on Jan. 6, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • get full custody and get child support.. problem solved.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:50 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • First you explain to the 13 yr old his behavior is not acceptable and won't be tolerated. Then you tell him if he is told something at his Dads house he is welcome to cvome and ask you. Put it out there. Take the power out of their hands. Tell him "I have made some decisons I'm not proud of and I regret them. When I knew better I did better" Or whatever statement is true for you. Is support ordered? If so go to your court liason or whomever handle it where you are and let them know he is in violation of the child support order. You can't prevent your child from visitation solely because he hasn't paid support. They are two separate issues. However, if you can prove Dad is screwing with his head you CAN do something about that. It all depends on how much you want to fight it.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 7:57 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • i would get both of you into counseling. sure you goofed but your child needs to forgive you and you need to get the father to stop bad mouthing you. ask the father to stop and how it effects your sons emotional state. also if you get the counseling and it shows that his father is abusing him mentally but what he tells him you can use it against him in court to get the visitation modified like none which wouldn't be good but it could be that the court request the entire family get counseling for the divorce. write you son a letter. tell him you are still his mother and that you are human and make mistakes but that your not the only one and how much you love him and need him to respect you and how you make him feel. also a prayer that his heart be softened would help.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 8:34 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • We had the same problem with my step-son 15. Ex didn't want to support her kids anymore so she started telling them things that their dad had done right after they were born. He was engaged to someone else and they had a child and ended up moving several states away. His plan was to get settled and seek custody of the kids. She told them that he abandoned them. Step-son believed her and has since moved into her home after living with us for six years, but step-daughter 13 decided that she had it better here and still lives with us. We have told both kids that they were more than welcome to ask any questions and they would be answered. As far as visitation goes, if he is not comfortable going, I would take to your ex and tell him that. If you can not agree, I think I would seek legal advice. Maybe the visitation can be modified in some way. Good luck to you!

    sammy12868

    Answer by sammy12868 at 6:00 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

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