Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I have a daughter with Autism. She is 23 and look like twelve even though she is alittle heavy in size from meds. My question is she is too controling and damanding. I looking a the posibility of puting her up. I love her dearly but meds doean't control her but calm her down a little. I am at my wits end. any advice

My only free time is when she is at school. Thank god she can go there till she is 26. She is strong enough to drag me out the house so I can take he riding till she get tired. She will not stay home if I'm not there. She think that I am her right hand. Is there any one one there who has had this problem. The sad thing is when I see a parent with a child in a wheel chair, I think how Luckey I would sooner have their problem then mine.


Asked by Rose802 at 8:37 PM on Jan. 6, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (30)
  • Well i have great news for everyone out their. I think I have solve my own problem. I am now treating the sickness and not the symptoms. I started my daughter On Mannatech products. and it only been about four days and I have notice a great change already. The good thing about Mannatech is , not a drug. you can take Mannatech products along with any drugs your on. She is more calmer not drug-out sleepy. Some Mannatech products help to re-build cell. A healthy body can heal it-self. I know I sound like a comericial. But I kidd you not. I hope this will be some help to the older Autism children who went throught hell because no one knew what to do when they were small.

    Answer by Rose802 at 9:01 PM on Apr. 8, 2009

  • Oh, I am so sorry you are struggling right now. I can not even imagine. I am not in your shoes and I can't even give advice. I don't have any words of wisdom. I just wanted to let you know....I hear you...I read your post.

    Answer by Southerncharmes at 8:39 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • I think its sad when you think that way about your child...

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 8:47 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • I am sorry. I also don't have that problem but I am sorry. Are you looking into an assisted living place? I really hope something works.

    Answer by MizAnn at 8:48 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • don't judge her unless you've walked in her shoes. unless you've walked in her shoes as long as she has.. you don't know what she's going through.

    Good luck in whatever you decide to do!!

    Answer by krazyash023 at 8:59 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • I have a ADHD child. She is only 8, but I have been dealing with her wild behavior since she was in preschool. I mean I get phone calls from school all the time, and she can't even be in a regular classroom because of her behavior. I love my child but it gtes so stressful at times, and I just want to sit back and cry, because I want to be able to control her, but nothing seems to work. I do , do alot of praing to God. That is the one thing that keeps me sane. Prayer, and reading my bible. I get alot of answers from the bible. Gods word is very soothing to me. I don't know how to really answer your question, but I can empathise with your delima. I'll definitely pray for your situation. I'ts really hard to answer a question like that when it is your own child. If it were someone elses child besides yours then I would say, do what you have to do, but right now I can't tell you to make a sacrifice like that!!

    Answer by saintjohnetta at 9:13 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • Having an adult child with autism can be extremely stressful and can take its toll on your health. There are state agencies that should be able to provide help for you. It sounds like she needs to be evaluated for possible residential placement. This would be a facility that specializes in autism and can provide training for her and also allow you to visit and would allow her to visit you.
    Usually, residential placment is based on how severe the problem is at home and if she is unmanageable. I can help you with some resources if you need help and if I know what state you live in. She also may need a new medication evaluation.

    Answer by Lisahi at 9:37 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • I am so sorry you are in such stress. You have to think ahead in life sometimes, and ask yourself what will happen to your daughter when you are gone. Its only fair to her at her age to have a home of her own (even if it is in a assisted living or group home). What a shock it would be to her to one day just be up rooted and placed in a home suddenly. My sister is mentally ill and 53 years old and stilll lives with my poor mother. My brother and I have for years to get my mother to understand this. It has to be hard and Im sure as a Mother you feel guilt. My prayers are for your decision to be one you can receive less stress and be happy with.

    Answer by tramar47 at 11:49 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • Have you looked into respite care?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:31 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • scaredmommy: you have no idea, My daughter won't accept resipe care unless she is slept. If she wake up and I am not there. she goes out side walking in the street looking for me. She is also non-verbal and is un willing to learn signs. She like everything the way it is. Autisic children hate change. When she give me a kiss after a bad time she has giving me. I realize I love my daughter. once she got made because I couldn't take here riding beause she had over spent my funds. During her very bad times. I can take her riding over 60 miles a day which include a least 3 fast food carry-outs. chase me around the car. when I allowed her to catch me she bit my hand so hard . I had no feeling in my middle finger for weeks. I called 911 , they took her to the hospital for One week. they ask me did I want her back . I said yes. I love my daughter. But I need to live too.


    Answer by Rose802 at 10:58 AM on Jan. 7, 2009