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Attachment and weaning

My baby girl is 9mo. she is bf and we are both happy and not really looking to wean. The problem is that she is far too attached to me. It has gotten to the point now where she wants to be right on top of me at ALL times. And when I leave her with a sitter (known or unknown alike) she screams the whole time I am gone. She is most comforted by bf and won’t take a bottle when upset. My mother thinks weaning would be the best way for her to start bonding with others. Can anyone give me an alternative?

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Asked by Cris1128 at 11:10 PM on Jan. 6, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Definitely don't wean. There are way too many health benefits. It is normal for your baby to be super attached to you. It's probably just a stage. Here is some info from

    "The first thing to understand is that THIS IS COMPLETELY NORMAL. It is called stranger anxiety and separation anxiety, and is developmentally appropriate for infants during the second half of their first year. Many babies simple become "glued to mom" for a few months. It will pass with time."


    Answer by PhilsBabyMama at 11:17 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • I agree with the pp. It sounds just like stranger anxiety and it will not change if you stop breastfeeding. This is a stage that will pass! Good luck!

    Answer by MommyJanelle at 11:20 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • I dont think that bf is the answer. My daughter is 8 mnths is like that and she is on food and real milk (she couldnt handle anything else) now she does stop crying after a little but, i dont think you should have to give up her means of eating for her to break the mommy bond. I would maybe try to leave her every now and then for short times even if its with your husband to go upstairs and take a shower or something that way she sees that you will always come back to her. and let her cry sometimes. that is what i do, and it is starting to work. Also when she is upset try to comfort her with a teddy or by rocking and singing to her that way when she is with a sitter they can calm her too. Good luck! I know what you are going through!

    Answer by babymaddy at 11:26 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • Here's the honest deal - she's a baby, you're her mommy. At less than 1 yr old, babies fixate on their parents, one at a time typically, and forget everyone else. She's normal, and the way she's acting is healthy. It's not going to hurt her development for her to be shy now. Confident children are the ones who know that when or if they DO need mom or dad, they'll be there. That means they have to go through a trial period where they cling to you. Look on the bright side, in 12 years she's going to be a moody preteen who doesn't want to be seen with you in public. Enjoy being the center of her universe while it lasts.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:47 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • Thanks. I guess I knew in my heart that this was just a stage to pass. But with my mother (my rock) acting as if my DD was too clingy and my having such a hard time with care givers... well I just panicked a little and thought it must be something I was doing.


    Answer by Cris1128 at 12:25 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • First.. I absolutely adore the anonymous answer!! Here Here!! Clear cut attachment occurs in babies at 7mo of age. Breastfeeding creates a massive bond usually between mother and child ;) Your baby is healthy and normal. 9mo is so little yet... If your baby is nursed on demand I'd say don't go anywhere for longer than an hour or two maybe and leave baby only with daddy for now. Just my humble opinion but why create more stress by weaning her and or leaving her regularly? Just be her mama and keep the attachment :D. U will be glad U did. You're doing a wonderful job just breath and listen to your heart :)

    Answer by LilLdybugx3 at 12:25 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Don't wean. This is very common for babies. My son was the same way and now he's almost 2, still nursing, and a very independent guy. He loves other kids and to have his time playing away from me. It will pass in a few months.

    Answer by Pauline3283 at 10:40 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

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