Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mil ?

Ok so my mother-in-law treats her first 2 granddaughters better then she does mine shes always keeping them over night buys them stuff for no reason and even got them way more then she got my dd for christmas i dont think its right and to top things off she gets the first 2 better things like from peebles khols goodys and mine just gets wal-mart or family dollar and it really pi**es me off am i in the worng??

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:29 PM on Jan. 6, 2009 in Just for Fun

Answers (8)
  • You don't get to pick favorites with your children or grandchildren. I think it is awful and that there is no way to avoid the children picking up on this.
    kabbot01

    Answer by kabbot01 at 11:32 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • My gramma did the exact same thing to me and I carry it around even today.You cannot change your mom in law but you can make dd understand that just because gramma acts like this doesn't mean she is right.I always wondered why my mom did not say something. it wouldn't have changed anything I know w/gramma but I think I would have felt better knowing mom stuck up for me., that everyone ignored the obvious hurt badly.I think you need to tell mil that she is playing favorites and while she sure has that right, you don't want your daughter to feel bad so she needs to find someway to stop being so obvious.This topic is so close to my heart.go hug your dd and tell her she is the best thing ever and poor poor gramma cuz she will not know what she missed.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 11:40 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • If dd is too young to know yet-start limiting how much MIL sees her.Then as she gets older she will not feel like she is being slighted maybe.good luck.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 11:41 PM on Jan. 6, 2009

  • Its not right but, unfortunately, it happens.
    I think you can either make the best of it and not make a deal out of the differences and just be happy she shows any interest,etc.
    OR you can tell her how you feel and possibly bugger up the relationship.

    My mother is this way with my sisters kids vs mine. Only it was more about spending time with not gift giving. She preferred them and made excuses as to why that was. I knew the truth and finally called her out on it. Now we arent talking. It will ease up but you have to know where you are willing to go to make them understand its not fair to show favorites.
    BonesDragonDew

    Answer by BonesDragonDew at 12:05 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • I do have my favorite grandkid but that's only b/c he came to be at the same time frame I was diagnosed as my breast cancer.I do spend more time with my youngest granddaughter but that's b/c i just spend more time my youngest daughter. When it comes to gifts, there is no seperation. I buy according to the child, age and interest( like Annie my almost 2yr old granddaughter, she LOVES Tinkerbell) I'd be po'd if my MIL treated my kids different than the rest.
    WAganma56

    Answer by WAganma56 at 1:57 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • It's not right but it may have a lot to do with what she thinks of you. How is the relationship between the 2 of you?
    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 6:34 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • I don't blame you for feeling slighted. I am wondering what kind of gifts she gets from them and their parents? Do you give Walmart and dollar store? If it's not that, it isn't right to treat them differently. Unfortunately, that's how it goes. Our MILs are human. It's an opportunity to be forgiving and accept someone regardless of what they do for us. I have a MIL like that. I treat her nicely but I don't go out of my way to try to change her. It's pointless. IMO, we and our children are better off moving on and spending our time and energy being kind and caring without over doing it. I found that in the long run, I was better off not having what I longed for.
    happi-ladi

    Answer by happi-ladi at 8:14 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • I dont think you are wrong, and I have the same problem. My mom pointed out to me though that its typical. In our general family, and other families I have seen... grandkids carried by the daughters are "more loved" than the grandkids carried by daughter-in-laws.
    adoptivemommy24

    Answer by adoptivemommy24 at 11:15 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Just for Fun
Love?

Next question overall (Food & Drink)
i need a recipe!!