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My niece is pregnant and she would like to give it to us to adopt, the question is, how do you go about this, and do you have to get a lawyer? or can you do this privately between us. Does anyone know the process in Ca? thanks

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Asked by Lissabisa at 2:22 AM on Jan. 7, 2009 in Adoption

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Answers (12)
  • I'm not from CA, but I believe no matter where you live, you still have to use a lawyer for the legal parts of the adoption process. It's still considered a private adoption because you aren't going through an agency, but you still need a lawyer.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:24 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • My aunt and uncle adopted my son from birth. They had previously adopted a newborn domestically and we went through an agency anyways, even though we didn't have to because they wanted me to have counseling readily available if and whenever I needed it. Rather than have me stand before a judge crying my eyes out saying I wanted them to adopt my son, I was able to sign papers in the privacy of a nice room with my counselor at the agency. If you do go through a lawyer, be sure she gets counseling both BEFORE the birth and after. Maybe encourage her to take her baby home first to be sure this is what she really wants.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:34 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Anon 1:34 had a good point since it is your niece to let her spend some time with the baby before finally placing it with you. I see where this could help you avoid major issues later on down the road. And, even though it is family, I would still make sure you use a lawyer just so everything is legal and again, you don't have problems down the road. JMO

    Answer by RentaMom at 3:02 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Another thought I had, I'm anon 1:34 from before.. is that no matter what happens... you must always be her aunt! Aunt must come first before adoptive mother. My aunt adopted my son and for a while our relationship was deteriorating because she stopped being there for me the way she had always been. Try your best to maintain that relationship with your niece! It will definitely make things easier down the road. Would you be keeping the adoption open?

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:35 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • If she adopts the baby, then I think her baby should come first. Yes, I agree she should maintain her relationship with her neice, however your children bio or not should come "before" anyone

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:32 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • I was referring to her relationship with her niece, not overall. Of course her children will come first! I mean that when she's talking to or hanging out with her niece she should still be her niece's aunt before her niece's birthchild's mother.. a little confusing sorry.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:20 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • You need a lawyer, and you will need a homestudy done. Even if it is family, you will not be able to legally adopt the child without a homestudy. You can contact adoption agencies for one to be done. The first agency we talked to charged $2,000 for a homestudy, but since we are adopting from the foster system, it ended up being free for us. I am from CA.

    Answer by 3gifts.from.god at 12:03 AM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • this may or may not be helpful but i just gave my daughter up for adoption on december 31st 2008 and all my aunt and uncle did was go to their lawyer and have them draw up papers and me and the dad had to sign them in front of a notary.

    Answer by katelynsmom06 at 10:10 AM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • ok I hope im doing this right, my niece will come home with the baby, she lives with my husband and I and will be a big part of this childs life, she is still in school and knows she is not ready for a child yet, emotionally and finacially, she knows we have always wanted a child of our own and knows the ups and downs that we have went through. I have suggested counseling and she is looking into it, thanks for all help ladies, I appreciate all.

    Answer by Lissabisa at 11:26 PM on Jan. 10, 2009

  • Be absolutely sure this is what your niece truly wants. Make sure that her reasoning for the adoption is truly what is best for both her and the child. I am unsure what her reasoning is or how strong of a relationship you have with her, but please keep in mind of what could happen years and years from now. She may not truly understand that this would be a permanent situation. If you are trying to help her because she is too young, does not make enough money, or whatnot...there might be other ways you can help her without her giving up all her rights to the child. This whole process is extremely painful and confusing especially to the mother.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:36 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

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