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Cannot stay with him due to his child!!

I have a partner that has a son 10 yrs old with adhd and aspergers and only adoptive son. He has no education and his parents does not know how to educate him. He distroys and diturbes and has no way to fit in normal setting. My partner is very very sensitive on this matter and he his in a awful mood as soon as we have his son as he cannot and do not want to play or do things with him more than feeding him all kinds of unhealthy things. The boy is already fat. He takes him to the bar at night. He never get his sleep when he is with him. On top of this he sets the boy against me. What happened now is that the boy distroyed some nice things for my daughter without any reason. I am devistated and have no understanding from my partner. I do not want his boy in my home. I know it is not the fault of the boy and I thing he is mistreated. An experiment with alive child.

I do not know what to do??????????????

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:43 AM on Jan. 7, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Get out of this relationship while you can! You dont want this man around your daughter anyways! If he doenst even take a good care of his own kid he wont care for yours.

    OH and by the way... taking a child to the bar is against the law!

    You are RIGHT! you have to get out of this relationship

    Answer by Paty_hotmommy at 3:56 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • I agree. I would report him too. That child needs help, and he is certainly not giving it to him. You don't want him taking your daughter to a bar, setting her against you, not feeding her anything but junk food etc. so I don't think you should stay with him and give him the chance to treat her, or you that way. I say GET OUT! Good luck!

    Answer by toriandgrace at 4:04 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Ditto, ditto, ditto.....

    Answer by Wimsey at 4:05 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Not only do you need to get out of this relationship you need to get this child some help. I would call CPS because the parents obviously not doing a good job.

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 4:50 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • I can't help with the aspergers aspect, but there are good support groups out there for people with ADHD and their parents.

    It is also likely that such things have a hereditary component which may mean that your partner, if he isn't ADHD, may well have tendencies in that direction.

    You need to set some clear boundaries about what you'll put up with in your house, and defend those boundaries. But you might also, for their sakes, look into what help might be available that they are not currently getting. Don't be scared by people who treat medication as a bogyman.

    Answer by Clairwil at 6:53 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Get out and don't waste your time on him. Tell him the love has died or something. Don't say it is the child, it's you and your feelings.The apple don't fall to far from the tree-believe me!!!!!

    Answer by workgoat at 7:23 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • The man is very depressed and have very much bad consious due to he cannot handle the situation. He was divorced due to the problem with his son. The adoption was forced upon him by his exwife and now he want to take his responsibility. He want to make the son happy and do not want to make him sad. If the son does something wrong he cannot tell him clearly that it is wrong. He thinks that he is hurting him. The father does not understand that parenting is a full tim e task. It is very complicated and I wished that I never had to be in this situation. I have my thre grown children helping me as well as my brother and father. I will get out of this one day but will do it slowly. Unfortunatley I feel sorry for him even though I cleraly see he is doing wrong. I cannot inform him about being a bad parent without he gets very sad and unhappy. He does not understand me and do not see that I want to help him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:06 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • I do not know how this works was posting a new explication about my situation but it is like another answer.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:09 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • My little brother has aspbergers and he is in school. His mother doesn't take great care of him, but it sounds better than what your man's son is getting. Get out and call CPS. You don't want your daughter around a family like that.

    Answer by TheDragn01 at 11:34 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

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