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how do you deal with a broken- hearted child?

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Chazzms

Asked by Chazzms at 3:52 AM on Jan. 7, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (13)
  • My parents never knew what to do with me when I had a break up or was upset (I'm only 22, so I can only speak for what I would do). I think what would have helped was to just try to be there. If it's your son, just try to make things easier for him for a few days or so. If it's a daughter, especially if you're close, just rent some good chick flicks, get her favorite ice cream and have a girls night. Maybe set up a girls night with her friends. Do things that will make his/her life easier and as fun as possible. That's what I wish my parents would have done anyway.
    toriandgrace

    Answer by toriandgrace at 3:59 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • I don't really know yet my olest is 11 she has had a lil boyfriend but it was nothing really.I would try to confort her as much as possiable,try taking her to the mall.That allways makes me feel better,buy a shirt,lunch and a icecream...lol that won't make the facts go away but she'll feel better for a lil while.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:06 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • I suffered a major heartbreak as a teen, and was not equiped to deal with it. My parents tried to help but I don't think they understood the pain I was really in. It would have helped more for them just to spend time with me...coffee dates and movies, rather than trying to fix me.
    megmckn

    Answer by megmckn at 5:38 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Be understanding of how deeply she may be hurt. Just because she is a teenager doesn't mean she didn't really love the guy. Try to be upbeat and supportive but don't say things like......"you'll have lots of other boyfriends" or "it's just puppy love" or "you are better off without him".

    Also, it's okay to tell your kids "I love you and I'm sorry you are hurting, but I don't know how to help you". As parents we don't always have the right answer and it is okay to let our kids know that. Let her know you are there for her if she needs you, but don't try too hard to make things better right away. I'm a strong believer in all the steps of the grieving process.
    Dyndudes

    Answer by Dyndudes at 6:52 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Just be there for them thats all you can do!!!!
    scaredmommy08

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 7:33 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • I actually just went through this with my 13 yo son. I found it best to let him talk, say what he needed to, ask him if there was anything I could do, and let him speak with his friends a little longer than usual. It helped. She was nasty to him for awhile after than they became good friends and it's all good now.Good luck! Sometimes I wonder who's more broken hearted about it-us feeling so bad for them, or them feeling hurt.
    mommamiafive

    Answer by mommamiafive at 8:29 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • VALIDATE! VALIDATE!VALIDATE!
    As a former high school teacher, I have weathered many a breakup.
    And the thing I found to be most helpful is just to validate how they are feeling and
    TO LISTEN (i think this is the hardest thing to do,because you want to fix it!!!)
    It will strengthen your relationship with them if you handle it with compassion and non-judgement. Don't make them feeling guilty for how they feel.
    Hope this helps....what I used to tell my girl students was "this is what life is and if you
    don't ever get out there and risk, then you won't find the one that will make all of this worth it!! Best Wishes!
    Purplejewels

    Answer by Purplejewels at 8:52 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • I helped one of my kids through a couple of hardships of heart-I kept on reassuring that he did nothing wrong and neither did the other person (iow I didn't put down the other person I acknowledged that my child felt wronged not that I thought the other person was wrong) CUZ I knew the defense of that person would come up and they'd end up back where they were in a notgood place! I encouraged gathering with supportive peers and when my kid recognized that they shouldn't be together I supported that too STILL ALL WITHOUT ME placing blame on the other person or my kid. I just blamed fate, I didn't blame either one of them in other words I let my kid decide themselves who was right or wrong and that decision was made right. They did get back together again and broke up again, my kid did so actually very happily finally!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:55 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Dating is a step toward marriage. Is this 13-17 year old ready to marry? If not, she should not be dating, in my opinion. What is she really learning from these dating experiences, by dating these immature 13-17 year old boys? Has your daughter's father taught her what to expect from such boys? What to deal with, and what's a deal breaker?
    Everyone thinks I'm a prude, but my 13-17 year old daughter will not have such heartbreak problems, break up after break up after break up...because there's no need for her to be dating at that age in the first place.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:04 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Boys enjoy the pint of icecream and a movie with mom too, just make it a comedy not a chick flick.
    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 9:46 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

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