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How Can I Get My Grandson To Sleep In His Own Bed?

My story is long so I will get to the point. My grandson is going on 7 and has always slept in my (kingsize) bed since he was small (due to certain circumstances-long story). It is now time for him to sleep in his own bed. He has his own room, brand new bed and I can't get him to sleep in it. I know he is afraid to be alone but even if I lay down with him, he will stay awake longer than I will! If he does fall asleep, he will wake up and come back in my bed. He always tells me every night, "c'mon Nana, time for bed"! It seems I never have time for myself after 8pm. Any suggestions would be much appreciated! Thank you.

 
AZbound

Asked by AZbound at 9:15 AM on Jan. 7, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (9)
  • I know it's hard beause you know what circumstances led to this situation. However, in order for this child to develop normally, you're going to have to be consistently firm and say "No, you cannot sleep in the bed with grandma." Sit him down, and don't talk to him like he is a baby, and tell him that you consider him a young man. Tell him that grandma needs to have some time to herself. Also, tell him how proud you are of him because he is such a strong, big boy. I agree with all the other comments. There are going to be a few sleepless nights, but each time take him back to bed without conversation. Put him in his bed and leave the room. Close your door. When he comes back, do the same thing. Eventually, he will fall asleep and learn to sleep in his own bed.
    cylicious

    Answer by cylicious at 10:24 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • My SD stayed with my inlaws for about a year (also a long story) and they let her sleep with them every nght. When she came home she would cry and say she didn't want to sleep alone. We just had to be firm and tell her that she is a big girl now and she can sleep in her own bed. I got some advice on here that was great. We told her that if she couldn't act like a big girl she wouldn't get big girl privileges. No going to friends, no candy, things like that. If she needed to be treated like a baby then she could only have things that babies can have. It's hard at first and he will cry but you just have to make him do it. Laying down with him will only make it worse because you then become his secuity blanket and when he wakes up at night he can't get back to sleep because you aren't there. he needs to learn to fall asleep on his own to be able to get back to sleep on his own. Good luck.
    Sammieanne

    Answer by Sammieanne at 9:22 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • I have a son whose like that and hes almost 8. He was abused by his dad and we have been working on getting him into his own room. He starts there but always ends up in our bed.Some suggestions his therapist has made were having him pick a stuffed animal or even toys like his GI joe or Batman action figures and let him sleep with those. She said let him pick toys he thinks fight bad guys and tell him theyll protect him. Its worked some night even though it seems he has alot of toys with him. Good luck. I am guessing youre in a equally odd situation I am in and its hard. My mom suggested getting two twin beds & me sleeping in one & him in another if it persists. we may try that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:22 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • When i lived with my mother she would always let my son then 7 sleep with her against my wishes. Since we moved out last year he had to sleep on his own. It was very hard at first. It really comes down to tough love. He gets up you have to get up and put him back to bed as many times as it takes. It will take a few sleepless nights on your part. after about a month my son was sleeping in his own bed without problems. We do put on a movie for him and let him have the comfort of the t.v. though that may have not been a good idea, another bad habbit to break but it works.
    HeathC.

    Answer by HeathC. at 9:32 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • I pretty much agree with the above poster "heathC." The biggest thing you need to do is FOLLOW THROUGH. A lot of times parents are afraid to do so thinking it will be a big mess I have been there. but what happens is your child learns that you don't really mean it or you are not serious. He is plenty old enough to understand so if he cries well, he will stop. I promise. Following though is much healthier then not and you might have a couple restless nights but it's important to follow through. Good luck! I would also sit down with him and have a talk, he is old enough, maybe ask him what he needs in his room that would make him enjoy it more although I think there is nothing wrong with it but that works sometimes.
    Willywonka06

    Answer by Willywonka06 at 9:58 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • I have a 5yr old who I'm still working on with this situation. I bought him a "his size" power ranger pillow, and also let him have a TV in his room. Also I sat him down & explained 2 him that he's a big boy now & in school & that he wouldn't want any of his friends to know he still sleeps in bed w/ mommy. I let him know that mommy isn't going to let anything happen to him and if he is 2 have a bad dream or if he's to get scared for some reason that I'm in the next room, and he can wake me up if he needs to. I think it was harder for me to adjust then it was for him. He's slept w/ me since he was about 4 moths old. Its hard to do. Also everynite he sleeps All nite in his bed I praise him for doing so! Once in awhile he still sleeps with me mostly b/c his dads mother wont make him sleep in his bed at their house! That doesn't help much but The TV & Power ranger pillow was a HUGE Help for me! I hope this helps! Good Luck
    RaelynsMom82703

    Answer by RaelynsMom82703 at 11:19 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • do it in stages. with having him sleep on the floor beside your bed
    Lynette

    Answer by Lynette at 12:28 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • I would tuck him into his own bed at night and tell him you will check on him in a little while but he can't get up, he has to wait for you. After about 1/2 hour, go check on him. If he is still awake, lay down with him and rub his head and back and help him relax. Get up after a few minutes (before he falls asleep) and tell him you will check on him in a bit again. He should fall asleep after that. If he gets up in the middle of the night, let him sleep in a sleeping bag on the floor next to your bed.
    TanyaR1024

    Answer by TanyaR1024 at 1:15 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Some great suggestions here. Try reverting back to toddler times. Start off by sitting on the bed for 10 minutes. Rub his back. The next night get a chair and have it next to the bed. Every night move the chair a little farther to the door. I would also get a baby monitor. Show him that you can hear everything that happens in his room. Have a chart up in his room. Have a goal of somekind (new toy he wants, or an outing), Each night he stays in bed he get a step closer to the goal. Dont make any time limits. Or mabey, have a guy talk with him. NO teasing or saying he is a baby. Like a mentor. Good luck..........I hope it works out.
    mistynights234

    Answer by mistynights234 at 1:53 PM on Jan. 7, 2009