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DOES ANYONE OUT THERE HAVE A RUMBUNTIOUS6 YEARL OLD THAT IS A BIT DEFIANT AND QUESTIONS EVERYTHING? HOW CAN I HOLD IT TOGETHER WITH OUR YELLING OR PUNISHING. i SEEM TO HAVE LOST THE BOUNDARIES IN THE HOME,

MOTIVATING 1ST GRADERS TO DO HOMEWORK.
DOES TEH ENVIROMENT AT THIS POINT REALLY MAKE OR BREAK YOUR CHILDS INTEREST IN SCHOOL?
hOW TO DISCIPLINE A CHALLENGING, STRONGWILLED CHILD WHO THINKS THEY KNOW EVERYTHING. NO DAD AROUND. NO PARENTAL SUPPORT.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:31 AM on Jan. 7, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (8)
  • Excuse me. You want to gain control of the situation without punishing her why??? You simply cannot do that with a child. You have to let them know who is boss and you mean business. A child is not able to make his own decisions on how to act and behave. What you have in the making is a "Wild Animal Child" that no one likes and no one wants to be around. You do remember them from school don't you... probably the one you never liked?? Well, you are making one, congrats!!! Glad I am not you!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:42 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Discipline is going to have to be a must, you have to lay down the law and let your child know who the boss is. You can't just say no no that's bad you have to actually punish a child for bad behavior thats the only way to gain control.
    trevsrockinmom

    Answer by trevsrockinmom at 11:50 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Well, I'm going to be nicer than anon, but she does have a point. You will have to discipline him/her. You can't say "Honey, I really want you to be good." and expect her to just listen, if you truly have no control. You can say that, but then when she doesn't follow thru, you'll have to be her mother and say, "Ok, that's it. You're grounded/in time out/getting spanked" whatever punishment you feel is appropriate. Set the rules, set the boundaries and then MAKE her follow them. She breaks a rule, punish her. Don't let it slide, don't threaten her with punishment if she does it again, punish her when she does it. Make sure she's clear on what the rules are. It's going to take a lot of work and time if you've lost control, but you'll need to stick with it. Otherwise, as anon said, you will have a child that is out of control and it's going to make life very difficult for both of you.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 11:53 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Go to the library or bookstore and read these two books:

    Parenting With Love and Logic by Jim Fay
    123 Magic by Thomas Phelan

    Seriously.
    RainingHeart

    Answer by RainingHeart at 12:17 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • I too have this problem of an defiant, child who refuses to do what I say. ANd says she will spank me. -
    Lucky1963

    Answer by Lucky1963 at 12:28 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • My son was like that. but slowly he came around everytime he wouldnt listen to me or back talk me i would make him stand in the corner. The first couple of times he would scream his head off. Then he realized if he would stand there quietly he would get out sooner as the time does not start until he is quiet and his hands are behind his back. Now he listens for the most part and when he acts like he isnt i give him a choice. and let him decide. He can chose to do what he was asked. or he can go sit on his bed or in the corner. I have not had to spank him. and he has learned that listening makes his day alot funner.
    miralerk

    Answer by miralerk at 12:49 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • My 6 yr old DD is like that as well at some times...defiant and strong willed when she's in one of her "moods." Not a wild child yet, but I certainly commiserate with you!!! I get so frustrated sometimes that I end up yelling at her more times than I care to admit. Obviously I need to refresh my "Love and Logic" knowledge with some re-reading...now, I have to figure out where did I put those books??
    kstchr

    Answer by kstchr at 3:09 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • I really do feel for you it is hard being a parent and then on top of doing it alone that makes it even harder. My only advice is be CONSISTANT!!! FOLLOW THROUGH!!! When you yell it just does not make the situation any better it makes you and the child just feel bad and it is just human nature to react. You have to take something away and follow through with it. The 2 things my son loves is playing out side and playing on his PSP. First think i take is the PSP which is like the end of the world to him. If he still keeps up the attitude I add a day of being grounded. He is stuck doing chores around the house or in his room reading. Honstly the reading is nice because it calms his down and learning something at the same time. Hang in there just remember you gave him life so you have the upper hand without you there would be no him:)
    Angela1436

    Answer by Angela1436 at 10:53 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

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