We have adopted our children. My son was a headbanger as an infant, then went to biting, the verbal. We have been in theraphy for 10 yrs. We are a wee bit exhausted and worried about his dicison making. We are worried about him knowing he should have pain and feeling pain yet not learning from it. He is now going on 14 and I worry about his self esteem and decision making. Any suggestions? My therapist thinks my pain over my son is associated with innner child and not having control over what he does.
Asked by Anonymous at 11:44 AM on Jan. 7, 2009 in Teens (13-17)
Answer by Rebecca727 at 12:46 PM on Jan. 7, 2009
Answer by admckenzie at 6:24 PM on Jan. 7, 2009
Let go a little... as toddlers we let them try to walk, but they fall. The only way to learn to walk is to fall. Well that is the same with big kids. As teens if we try to protect their every step, they cannot learn to live. Let him go a little and see how he does, let him know you will be there to cheer him on, but not catch his every step. Let him make little mistakes, and let life show him the consequences of those mistakes. It will help you let go a little and also give him the chance to show you he can. If you smother him, that will ruin his own self esteem too.
Nobody said being a parent is easy. Love hurts when it's time to let go a little of the very thing you've protected all their lives. But unless we let go, how are the kids suppose to know/learn they can make it.
Answer by MikkiB at 9:13 PM on Jan. 7, 2009