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How can I help teenage son with ex-girlfriend problems?

My teenage son dated a girl for almost a year. They work at the same place and have mutual friends. He broke up with her 4 mos. ago, (respectfully & kindly and even begged her to remain friends) but since then, she has been constantly spreading lies, working hard to try to turn all of their friends against him, she has told lies to the new girl he likes so she won't date him. She's now lying to his employer, trying to get him fired from his job. I called her father for the 1st time last night to ask for his help. He completely believes all of her lies and was rude & threatening to me, so no help there. She has a long history of mental issues. She's had numerous therapies over the years and is on a couple different meds which are apparently NOT WORKING. She is a spoiled girl who has ALWAYS gotten her way by having a "breakdown" and crying. She is terribly vindictive with a great "sweet girl" facade. PLEASE --What can I do?

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:52 AM on Jan. 7, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I feel for you.. that is a very bad situation to be in, but unfortunately, all to common these days. Have you spoken to a lawyer? That or the police dept. to find out what your options are. I think I would probably ask the lawyer what you can do for this, as it is considered slander.

    Answer by pupmom at 11:56 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • If she's lying to his employer, then he needs to go to his employer and report her for harassment. If they won't do anything, then even though it seems like a cowardly thing to do, he might need to look for another job. Also, if he gets another job, and she continues to harass him, then he can go to the police and report her for stalking. He probably could now, but I'm thinking that if they work at the same place, might be harder to prove. I'd have him start with reporting her harassment to his employer, and go from there.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 11:57 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Well, first off Im going to assume your son is under 18. IF not then you need to but out and let him take care of it. If he is a minor you did the correct thing by addressing this with the girls parents. If this continues, and is distressing to your son, ask him what he wants you to do. You could go as far as getting a restraining order. As far as the friends, true friends will hang with your son regardless of what the ex says. The job, your sons work ethic should protect his job. If he is fired over lies he could fight that. Good luck. Sounds like your son may want to do a back ground check on the next girlfriend (jk).

    Answer by mistynights234 at 11:58 AM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Honestly this is mean but I had to do it to my stalking teen son's ex. I saw her out in public and told her if she spoke his name in a negative way, she would be getting a lawsuit slammed on her for harrassment, and if that doesn't scare her off get another girl her age to tell her she is dating your son and she best back off or suffer the consequences everyone will find out her little secrets that she won't be proud of like her mental issues, I mean if you don't start any drama you won't have any! You need to do what ever is necessary to help your son. As for her dumbass father if he is rude and threatening avoid him.His friend are not going to believe her if they are his friends and they should stick up for him! Get him her and their boss in the same room for a meetings and make it known what she is up to! Come on momma put them claws out!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:03 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • girl... i feel for ya too. my bro is only 16 and going through the same thing... shes a little bitch. but big sis came to the rescue and said a few choice words to her and she has shut up.
    but everyone is different... you gotta think of a good but legal way to scare her. if i come up with anything i'll let ya know.

    Answer by Kristina.C at 12:09 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • You can sue her a** for slander especially if she does manage to get her way and have him fired. Make sure your son or you take it upon yourselves to document all of her incidents and you will have proof when and if the time comes. I would tell her or her father very politely that you have every intention of bringing her up on charges if the threats and lies continue. I'd also send any documentation to them so they know that you mean business. She needs to be taught that she cannot play with another's life and get away with it.

    Answer by micrespo at 12:38 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • tell him to go to his boss and report her for harrassment, then call back her father and tell him if he cant get her to stop you will be seeking out a lawyer so you can start a slander lawsuit

    Answer by hautemama83 at 3:03 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Have him write down all the incidents- if possible get witness signatures and I would let her (and her dad) know that if she does not stop harrassing your son, you will go to the police and get a restraining order against her- as well as a lawyer to sue her for slander! That might just open dad's eyes to what his "sweet little darlin angel" is up to. I would also have him talk to the boss and explain the situation, maybe the boss can put them on different shifts or fire the little troublemaker. Good luck - I hope things work out!!

    Answer by MizLee at 3:58 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

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