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Control freak mom who needs advice for a soon to be kindergartner!!!

I know it has to happen. I have to let her grow up. And I know all moms go through this. But I am so worried about her. She has been with me every second of every day. I work with her as much as I can about strangers. But she wants to believe that all people are good. If they smile at her she says that they are nice strangers. How do I explain to her without scaring the crap out of her? And how do I put my mind at ease that it will all be ok? I hate having to let go! lol. I have control issues!! I have been the one to make any and all decisions in her life up until now. And I don't want my nervousness to make her nervous. It should be a fun experience for her. If anyone has any advice, I am all ears!

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Asked by taterrose94 at 12:21 PM on Jan. 7, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (12)
  • there is a DVD that I picked up at the library that worked great with my 5yr old
    "Stranger Safety" ~ Angela Shelton, John Walsh, Carol Cordova, and Kevin Meier
    here is the amazon link

    Answer by Lynette at 12:27 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • it is the most irritating DVD ever!
    but it works!
    my kids have it and as an adult, i can't stand it
    watch it with them the first couple of times, then find something else to do , it will sae your sanity

    Answer by bi-polarmommy at 1:00 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Holy smokes lol you sound like my husband! He is so freaked out about strangers that I think that our daughter will have a body guard following her around when she is 30. Im telling you out of experience. My daughter just turned 6 in October. Kids are smart and they pick up on everything. You want to helpyour daugther make smart choices not scare the crap out of her.
    Its very hard to let your shining light go. I cried like a baby when my girl got on the bus. She was so excited and I almost ruined it for her. The tighter you hold on........the harder she will eventually push. It will get easier................

    Answer by mistynights234 at 1:39 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • I believe it's better to be safe than sorry! I taught my kids a secret word that only we know. I let them know that if anyone comes to pick them up and I haven't told them about it, they are to ask that person for the secret word, if they don't know it, you run like HECK! Going to school is scary, but make it your business to define and establish your role with your child's teacher. Let them know you're gonna be involved and the lines of communication are always open. Even though they aren't with you in school, they're still YOUR kids. :o) Best of luck!

    Answer by ConcernedMom050 at 2:46 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • when i had the stranger talk with my DD, she told me "if someone tries to talk to me and tells me come here, i'll get in trouble for not listening cuz i have to listen to adults"...... so i had to just scare her. i told her that she ONLY listens to the adults she knows... family, her teachers, her doctor. if she doesn't know the person, she DOES NOT listen to anything they say.

    Answer by mamaaa01 at 4:19 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • My daughter is 5 yrs old and is very outgoing with EVERYONE....OMG....My mom scared the bejeebies out of me and my bro about stranger danger (she actually told us that some grown ups like to do things to kids that only mommies and daddies do). We were terrified of anyone we did not know. While I don't want to scare the snot out of my daughter, I also want her to be safe. But she is already in school (Head Start and special services preschool), and things have been going well. Her biggest thing is guys in army fatigues. My bro is military, so she relates the uniform with a safe person. I would certainly sit her down and let her know that there are grown ups out there that do hurt children and to stay away from anyone she does not know (or as another poster mentioned, use a special password).

    Answer by randi1978 at 4:26 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • You could always volunteer at her school or sign up to be the class parent (helping to organize class events and such). This will give you an opportunity to watch her in a class environment, but will keep you busy enough with other kids that you can't really spend too much time with only your DD.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:52 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Oh Sweetie, don't take this the wrong way (I'm an anxious mommy too, worried about every detail), but perhaps it may be you need a really good anti-anxiety. I am not saying this to be a smart ass. And this may not be your situation. But let me just share: I worried, and still do, about my son and his safety every single second. From making sure everything is cut up so he won't choke, to checking and rechecking his seat belt to make sure it is just as the manufacturer says. I hope your not like that too. It is a horrible way to live at times. Always on edge. So I went and got some help - the professional kind. And what is sad, I'm in the mental health profession. Normal people have worries too. I can say that getting help did do a lot for me. PM me if you would like to know more.


    Answer by frogdawg at 9:27 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • There is a great DVD call kids escape and it talks about strangers and things to do if something was to happen. I actually got it when my son turned 3 which was a great way to talk about strangers. We used to do this tape everyday and then it went to once a week thank goodness. In this day in age I think it is important to really talk to your kids about strangers and have in there mind that everybody is a stranger.

    My son is 7 years old today and still wise to strangers I really think the video helped. He had fun with it but at the same time remembers what to do and just put enought fear in him to not trust strangers. I now have a 3 year old daughter that I will be doing the same thing with her.

    Answer by Angela1436 at 10:45 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Thank you all for your advice. I am going to try the movies first. And see if that will work. She seems to do good with visuals. But I appreciate everything from all of you.

    Answer by taterrose94 at 10:52 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

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