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Would you stop dating someone because your family didnt like them?

I have known the father of my child for 3 years....our son is 2 now. Well we had our share of problems and i shared a lot of that with my family...now they dont like him. We've decided to work it out now but I know they wont be happy at all. I feel like he makes me happy and this is what i want so why should i care what anyone else says. Would you?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:32 PM on Jan. 7, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • I guess it would depend on why they don't like him and if you can maintain a relationship with them even though they don't approve of your relationship. I can't stand my sister's new boyfriend, but I still talk to her because she's my sister.
    sbastille

    Answer by sbastille at 12:36 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • It's hard to keep relationship problems to yourself when you are close to your family but you have to realize that the only side of him they know is the side that you let them in on which from the sounds of it hasn't been a good one. Just make sure that in the future you don't spend a lot of time complaining about your SO and make sure you tell your family plenty of good things about him. It's a lot easier to remember the bad things but surely if it wasn't so bad that you are trying to work things out there must have been some good things too. It will probably take some time and they won't trust him for a long while but you can fix the damage the same way it was created.
    sillyt

    Answer by sillyt at 12:38 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • I've made this mistake myself a time or two and it can always be undone. My sister is now jealous of my husband, a man she absolutely couldn't stand three years ago because I didn't watch what I said.
    sillyt

    Answer by sillyt at 12:40 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • If I stopped dating my boyfriend cause my family didn't like him I wouldn't be married to my husband. We are very happy and my family has learned to like him. The way I see it, not everybody is going to like or love somebody, but if he makes you happy and he isn't abusive in any way, and if they truly loved you they would let you decide who and what is best for you.
    teddybear515

    Answer by teddybear515 at 12:40 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • WELL YEAH IF YOU LOVE HIM THEN BE WITH HIM BUT JUST TRY NOT TO TELL THE FAMILY TOO MUCH CAUSE REMEMBER MARRIAGE IS FOR TWO NOT FOR 3 OR 4
    LOVE88

    Answer by LOVE88 at 12:43 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • It depends on why your family doesn't like him. Is he abusive in anyway or is he addicted to anything? It matters if it is one or more big things or many small things. If he is basically a good man then I say don't sacrifice your happiness for the approval of others. Just for future reference don't broadcast your problems with him to your family. There are many times where your family's opinions if an SO are formed by all of the negativity that they are fed. Good luck:)
    micrespo

    Answer by micrespo at 12:50 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • This is why I never share my relationship problems with family. There is always that chance that things will work out and it will be totally awkward for the guy in the future. I would still continue to date the guy, but you both are going to have to prove that he's a good guy to the family now.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 12:57 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • i have stopped dating someone b/c my family didnt like him. i know i can trust my family's opinion of a person & i couldnt see him clearly b/c i was in love (we were engaged). i also knew that my family would be there for me after i ended it. it was hard but im so glad i did it! i would never have met my soul mate.

    your situation is harder b/c you have a kid together. would your family still favor this guy if you hadnt shared? if so just tell them that you were mad at him & said things you didnt mean. if you trully believe you & your SO can work things out then they should accept that. but if they didnt like him before you shared that should be a red flag...if you can trust them.
    okmanders

    Answer by okmanders at 1:28 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Lesson learned not to share what you are thinking and feeling about your partner to your family and friends. Long after you forgive him they will remember. That is normal. Yes, I would marry someone that my family didn't approve of. But remember that every action that you have, good or bad, has consequences. So if they end up breaking it off with you because they don't want to stand by and watch you make a mistake, in their opinion, you have to be prepared for that. You can always say, "I'll keep the door open and would love to have you part of my life." But that is about all you can do. You cannot control how other people think and feel. Do what you think is best for you and your son. Do respect that others may not think, feel, and respond in kind. If if means loosing your family - then that risk is one that you have to decide if it is worth it or not. There are just no guarantees in life.

    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 1:41 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • yep your right, I married a man my parents could not stand and we have been married for 17 years and they get along in a fake way,,,, but I came out on top,,, he is a great man. Do what you want girl its your life......hugs
    katandtysmom

    Answer by katandtysmom at 2:06 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

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