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how do i get my youngest son to stop being so angry and to try to resolve his problem before he gets upset??

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mscool1094

Asked by mscool1094 at 1:12 PM on Jan. 7, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (5)
  • I have the same issue with my 6 yr old son. If he cant draw a character the way he wants he screams and shouts, tears the paper up, you name it. I am seriously considering having him see a therapist. The anger and rage scares me. I always try talking to him. Taking the pencil and showing him the right way to do it or I will tell him try again. Everyone makes mistakes and only practice will make it better but he just gets so ANGRY and this isn't just with drawing. It could be tying his shoes, during homework or anyhing. If he can't seem to get it all hell breaks loose. This is everyday when he comes in from school. I prepare myself cause I know it's coming. It's horrible because I just always end up sending him to bed when he doesnt seem to be calming down. Just thought I'd share my story with you and let you know your not alone. I hope you get a better answer. Good luck with everything ;)
    MomToFour247

    Answer by MomToFour247 at 1:26 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • When my sons were younger, it was hard for them to tell me how they felt becaus echildren have a hard time knowing what words to describe with and they would get very frustrated at times. I would calmly talk to him in a soft voice and say "It's allright. I'm here. Don't be upset. You'll get the hang of it. I know it makes you angry to have to do it over and over, but that's how we learn, by practicing over and over, we get better. Let's try it this way and see if it's any easier."

    It usually calmed them down, and giving their feelings a voice with words they couldn't think to say really helped them to see that I understood their feelings and I think, it made us a little closer too.
    kimitzoe

    Answer by kimitzoe at 4:30 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • I have shown myson about meditation and when I see him getting wound up I have a special area that is his "meditation sanctuary" where he sits on the floor and looks at the wall and we do a few deep breathing exercises. I let him sit there with his wiggles and his grumbling and tell him ahead of time that it is ok for him to wiggle and grumble because he is angry. But he is going to sit there while he is doing all his wiggling and huffing and once he is done with all of that he can have 5 minutes all to himself to do his own deep breathing and meditation. I am trying to teach him the skills to calm himself. We have only just started doing this last month. Now he still complains and wiggles but he is actually starting to do his deep breathing and when he leaves his little "sanctuary" a very different little boy and is generally smiles and in a good mood.

    noplacelike_ohm

    Answer by noplacelike_ohm at 6:41 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • You know, I just had another thought...try removing EVERYTHING from your child's diet that contains red 40 food coloring. Seriously. I had forgotten all about it until my daughter just walked into the room and she is highly allergic to it. But it doesn't cause welts, it stimulates her brain into producing these funky chemicals as the allergic reaction to it and she can barely control herself. By removing everything with red40 in it her behavior is MUCH different.
    noplacelike_ohm

    Answer by noplacelike_ohm at 6:44 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • How do you respond to him when he's getting upset, do you yell or get irritated? How does he see you respond when you get angry? I've had to totally change my own attitude because I found that I often fuel my daughter's anger with my response. I have found that if I'm calm and helpful when she becomes angry that it has made a huge difference. I try to give her words to express how she's feeling (she's younger). "Are you frustrated?" "Do you need help?" "What would make this situation better?" It took some time though, and i had to be consistently calm. Not easy for me at all. Maybe that's not where you are, but it helped us.
    Melissa823

    Answer by Melissa823 at 7:15 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

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