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PLEASE give me some help!!!!

I am a single mom as of a few days ago. Its a messy situation and would take forever for me to explain! My question is, during a custody battle, where domestic violence citations were issued on both of us, but I am being called the "primary agressor" what are my chances of that really hurting me in the trial???? What can I do to prevent him from getting my baby girl???

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:43 PM on Jan. 7, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • I would recommend taking it upon yourself to go to an anger management/ DBT class before trial. Take to court the papers saying you completed the course. This will give the judge proof that you know you had a problem and YOU took the steps to fix it without having to be told to do so.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:45 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • You may want to hire a good attorney if you are the primary aggressor. That can be used against you as a means of the baby being in danger while in your care. Custody battles can get nasty. Have alot of proof of his violence as well as any witnesses that may be able to help you. I wish you the best.
    VaDivaMom

    Answer by VaDivaMom at 1:46 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • pray and present yourself in the best possible light i.e. I'm a good mother I do this for my child, I do that and explain to the judge the situation in which you were the primary agressor. I know domestic situations can get ugly, I've been in one before with my oldest child's father so I understand. In most cases, custody is generally given to the mother unless something drastic has occurred.
    need2rest71

    Answer by need2rest71 at 1:47 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • yes to all threee pp-especially the anger management classes/couseling.It might help as well to collect some personal statements from friends/coworkers/professionals you know stating that you are a good/mild mannered person ...good luck.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 1:50 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Do not go to trial,,,, get a mediator and work something out,,,, that is what I would do,,, Jurors can be ass holes, be careful.....
    katandtysmom

    Answer by katandtysmom at 1:58 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Do you suffer from a personality disorder where even though you are considered a primary aggressor, he could have pushed your buttons to invoke a rage? Removing yourself from the source of the agression (him) could very well be the solution to the immediate problem. My x is an abuser. he could push my buttons and send me into an aggressive rage. I was in counseling for my disorder and the judge gave me custody of all three of our children. You may want to call a DV shelter and ask them for counseling and heed the good advice about anger management class. That never hurts. It shows the court you recognize a problem and are willing to do what is necessary to keep your children.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:16 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Go find yourself an anger management class and take it, also a parenting class these two things will look great for you in court, especially the fact that you did it all on your own shows responsibility
    hautemama83

    Answer by hautemama83 at 2:18 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • The parenting classes and anger amnagemtn classes the previous posters have suggested are an awesome idea. it proves to the court sthat you are making an effort to alter your behaviors. If and when you have to appear in front ogf any court official remain cool, calm and collected. No matter what he may say reamin the biger person and do not allow him to get your goat. Do not react! And get a good lawyer...it's amazing how well a good lawyer willhelp handle things...
    tat2edmommyof2

    Answer by tat2edmommyof2 at 2:33 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • And I aparently can not spell today...I apologize for my grammatical errors...
    tat2edmommyof2

    Answer by tat2edmommyof2 at 2:38 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • you really need good legal advice here--we mean well but the laws are different in every state and this is important stuff....talk to a lawyer!
    JustAMom2008

    Answer by JustAMom2008 at 2:58 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

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