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I'm married and still have feelings for my ex - ouch!!

I've been married over 9 years and ran into my ex in 03. We had an affair for 2 years, I broke it off and decided to work on my marriage. My ex doesn't live far from me and we've kept in touch off and on since 05. I want him out of my life but then I still have these strong passionate feelings about him. Even when I don't call and I stay away he looks for me through a mutual friend or by coming by my house (sitting in his car) I've asked God to take these feelings away and they are still there. I sometimes wonder is that a sign that we should be together or am I trippin?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:53 PM on Jan. 7, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Youre trippin. Adultery or what not isnt a sign from God. Its temptation. Pray to God that he goes away but dont rely on God to control your feelings. We all have free will. If you want to be with your husband then be with him and cut off all contact with the ex. Otherwise leave your husband and be with the ex. You cant have your cake and eat it too.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 1:55 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • I would say you need to decide who you love more and go for him,,, you only live once girl....
    katandtysmom

    Answer by katandtysmom at 1:57 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • My answers are not usually short...but the first thing I thought of was for you to...

    Follow your Heart!
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 1:57 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Anon you are in love with your ex. Go for it .............
    jareda69

    Answer by jareda69 at 2:05 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • everyones answers are great but it all comes down to what your heart tells you. who do you feel stronger for. who can you not picture you life without. don't do what has to be done cause its the right thing to do. do what makes you happy.
    Kristina.C

    Answer by Kristina.C at 2:06 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • I think you need to seriously sit down and think about it. And make a decision on who you want to be with. If you choose your husband then be honest with your ex, tell him you can't have any more contact with him for the sake of your marriage and ask that he respects your wishes. If he can't then you may have to call the cops on him for stalking to get the message. If you choose your ex then you need to be honest with your husband about why your leaving him because he loves you and deserves to have answers, not be left wondering what he did wrong.
    Pudge_Pie20

    Answer by Pudge_Pie20 at 2:09 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • babygirl you are tripping.. you opened the door back up to your lust by having the affair with an old flame to begen with....... and the fact that youv been married for 9 years shows there is something there to hold on to.... you opened a can of lust and you dont have closeure to the desire.. you gotta end that withoin yourself and no more contact at all with this ex... good luck
    poeticprincess

    Answer by poeticprincess at 2:11 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • EVERYONE HERE IS RIGHT IF YOU ARE NOT HAPPY WITH YOUR HUSBAND OR IF YOU DONT LOVE HIM OR WHATEVER THEN LEAVE HIM BUT DONT CHEAT CAUSE THINK YOU WOULD NOT WANT HIM TO DO THAT TO YOU BUT GOOD LUCK I HOPE YOU GET IT TOGETHER
    LOVE88

    Answer by LOVE88 at 2:12 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • I've prayed for over 2 yrs now that God would take these feelings away from me for a man who is a jerk but God has decided that it's something I must do for myself. I struggle with it daily. I leave but temptation/lust draws me back. These are sins of the flesh and I'm just not strong even though I keep thinking I have the situation under control. I hear that in our weakness is HIS strength so I just keep hoping that in time something good will come of this. God knows our heart. He knows our struggle. These men are our Thorn in the flesh! Somebody please get the tweezers and remove the thorn! LOL
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:25 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • I'll be honest with you because we're all grown here...If your lusting after another man, then why are you married? Why put your current husband through this type of humiliation? You cheated with this man and it's obvious that your current dh never knew about it or he forgave you, so why continue to hurt this man? Let a woman that can truely love him without reservation have him!
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 3:57 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

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