Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How did you get people to stay away right after baby came?

So I'm in my last trimester. A friend just had a baby and warned me about all the visitors she had. She and her DH didn't get to sleep for days b/c they had so many well-wishers at the hospital and at their home. I would like people to stay away for the first few days, but I don't know how to do this without hurting their feelings. The in-laws live only miles away and I know they will want to come to the hospital. I've already told them I don't want anyone in the labor room with me other than my husband, but I'm not so sure I want to see anyone in the hospital at all!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:38 PM on Jan. 7, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (16)
  • Unfortunately, you cant do this without hurting atleast one persons feelings...I would just let them come, and when you start to feel tired go in for a nap with the baby...that should get the point across without making it mean...Just a suggestion...

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:42 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • I dont have many suggestions for the hospital. I did have visitors in the hospital but only allowed my sons father in the delivery room, honestly at like 8:00 every night I was just "well i'm tired, see you guys tomorrow" lol. everyone pretty much got the hint and left. When I went home about a million people called and wanted to bring food, do laundry, clean....etc. I just told everyone no, that i wanted some time to get settled in with the baby first. Everyone should understand, most of them have had kids too.

    Answer by Chandra034 at 2:42 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • its hard to tell them no. But its your body and you have to rest. With me only my husband come in to the delivery room as in the recovery room. everyone want to come in but i told them i need a little rest and they understand. At home its hard but they have to understand that too.
    Congratulation and Goodluck!!

    Answer by mommyzu at 2:47 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • I would let them come but have a shut-out time... like tell your nurse to ask them to leave at a certain time every night. Like 7, then you have all night and you don't feel bad b/c you didn't tell them... your nurse did!

    Answer by AshJoe05 at 2:50 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • I hear you. I'm 32 weeks and my mother-in-law said months ago that she was going to come help out. It may be rude but I don't want ANYONE here besides the hubby especially since I just found out I will probably have to have a C-section. Luckily we now live in a different state than all of our relatives do so that might make it easier to keep them away. I told them all not to come up here I just hope they listen. Good luck! I hope your relatives are less stubborn than mine.

    Answer by lisalmeyer86 at 3:09 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • I let my immediate family come visit, if I got tired of them I said I had to BF the baby(explain BF takes practice and you need time alone)I told them I needed to shower or sleep. That's what happened W/ #1. W/#2, I wasn't so gentle, I just said, I'm tired, I want to be alone, you can come for an hour and leave.
    For visitors at home, I live close to my fam. I told people to come to my parents house on Saturday when I'll be there. I didn't have to entertain anyone and I can leave if I get tired or just want to be alone. If they wanted to come to my house and I wasn't ready, I just told them. When I wanted to see people I asked them to bring food!(most were awesome and offered first) This is you and DHs baby, you decide what you wanna do. Tell them that you just want to spend time alone with your new family. If they say some stupid crap like, oh, you'll need help/want visitors...say, we'll see but I'm a FTM, let me be a FTM!

    Answer by Paesana82 at 3:49 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • When I had my son I told EVERYONE that I didnt want people at the hospital til the baby was born. I was induced and I didnt want to be laying there in labor while people came in and out asking how I was feeling. So I just said, my parents and my husbands parents at the hospital until the baby is born. I was in labor for 12 HOURS when the dr said lets do a csection. Well they induced me at seven am and at eight thirty my moms mom showed up with my great grandma. So I made my dad tell them to leave until the baby was born :D Then after he was born the whole place was full of people!!! and once we got home I would just take the baby in the other room with me to "breastfeed" most people got the hint but no one really stayed very long.....

    Answer by Manda_62007 at 3:57 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • We let everyone know that we wanted our rest. Everyone had a chance to see the baby for a little bit, but then I would say "Oh, I'm tired, do you guys mind if we visit later so that I can get some sleep". But just so you know, if you tell the nurses that you don't feel up to any visitors they will make a notation at the front desk and let people know that you aren't accepting visitors right now. At least my hospital did that.

    Answer by slw123 at 4:32 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Let the well-wishers know that you will be tired and really don't feel up to having visitors (at least the 1st day). You can talk to your doctor and the nurses at the hospital- they can put up a do not disturb sign on your door. Another thing is to "schedule" the visits, let them know you will be tired, and that there are certain days/times you will be recieving visitors. Don't be afraid to speak up and let everyone know if you are tired, and want people to leave. Sometimes friends/family are so excited about a new baby they forget how much work delivery is and how tiring it is to be a new mom. good luck!!

    Answer by MizLee at 5:05 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Good question. IM pregnant with my second and wish I knew the answer. There was so much oressure i think its part of the reason I didnt breastfeed. Srew it this time- Im putting my foot down. dont let them invade your personal space. You are now this baby's whole world and you need to do whats best for you and your baby if you need space just say it. You will feel better. Good luck momma

    Answer by KatieFlower at 5:11 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Pregnancy
Honeymoon baby?