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How can I create a family life and get my husband more involved with 4 month old?

My husband started 1.5 years ago his own emergency plumbing company, he's the only one running the bussiness and advertises 24 hours emergency work, 7 days a week. All he can think about is his bussiness, eventhough he loves our baby girl, he is not involved much with taking care of her and I understand. It is hard for me to create any kind of routine for us as a family - how do other wives of bussiness owners deal with this? We don't have any family to help, my family lives in different country and my mother in law is only available once in a blue moon. My husband claims this situation is temporary during the growth of the bussiness, but I just don't see much stability down the road. Any suggestions? I am a stay home mom and for this reason I didn't return to work thinking it would be hard to arrange day care.

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katy1980

Asked by katy1980 at 3:51 PM on Jan. 7, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (5)
  • I understand about being involved in a business. It will be trickier for you than for a mom whose husband comes home at the same time every night. Yet other moms whose husbands are doctors, salesmen, and so forth also have to deal with this. The interaction will come. As the baby becomes more responsive and has a more and more active role in the family- walking, talking, hugging, and so forth, your husband will become more involved. cont.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 3:58 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • There will be disappointments when plans are made and have to be changed at the last minute, but this happens, and meanwhile you have a good man who is working hard to benefit his family. Try to have him spend a little time with the baby whenever he can- one of the best things for my husband was to have him read to the baby. Have him help bathe the baby or watch her while you do the dishes. He'll come around when he finds she smiles at him.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 3:58 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • I agree with bmat. As she becomes more fun, he'll want to spend more time with her. A year ago, my hubby was fine with coming home after our daughter was in bed. Now he's sad he missed their play time together.
    Go ahead and make plans. Try to have him spend alone time with her at least once a week - make an appointment to get your hair cut or go sit in the park and just read. Yes, sometimes he will get a call. Then he can tell his customer "I'll be there in 20 mintues" then he can call you and tell you he needs to go. Also, make family plans - a picnic in the park for example. Yes, the baby is too young to enjoy it. So what? Do it anyway. And don't forget date night. Find a sitter - even another mom to swap with - and go out with hubby once a month. Yes, he may have to end the evening short but at least you will have spent time together.
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 4:57 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • My husband also owns a business...I completely understand how you are feeling. It is important to have a routine for the baby, and it is nice to try your best to have a routine as a family, but honestly baby is so small that s/he will not realize if daddy was supposed to have dinner with us tonight but instead he read my bedtime story because he got stuck at work. Things I do that have helped is: We eat meals at the dining room table- hubby try to make at least 3-4 dinners w/ me and the kids a week, on weekends he makes his scheduled appointments at the kids naptimes, that way he most likely will have the morning free to hang out with the family. I always give my hubby 15 minutes to adjusted when he gets home- then he has to give the kids the same 15 minutes (no answering phones, checking email etc.) Good luck- as your family owned business gets established...it will get easier!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:23 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • my husband is in the process of taking over his father's business. I have a lot of the same feelings as you. He spends so much time at the store taking care of things that I am confined to the house. We moved across the country Michigan to Arizona and there is no family here except for his dad, the evil stepmother, and his sister. I have no where to turn and no one to talk to about my feelings. I think it has hurt our marriage a little. I hope things get better for you and I hope they get better for me. I'm sorry I don't have any advice but just know you have support here
    heatherann0221

    Answer by heatherann0221 at 6:58 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

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