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Hubby's friend has a crush on me????

My hubby's friend has become a good friend of mine over the past few years. Mostly because when I was pregnant he would take me out to eat and to the mall. My hubby wanted nothing to do with me at the time and I later found out that he was flirting with an 18 year old at work. So this guy was there for me through all of that and was a good friend. I've been married for 7 years and he's been married for 1. I love his wife and tell him that despite their petty problems to try to work on things and talk. But lately I'm beginning to think he as feelings for me. He calls me or texts me everyday. And he asks how "his' girls are doing? Talking about me and my DD. Also, he tends to call me when he knows my hubby isn't around. He actually texts my hubby to see where he is and then calls me. My hubby tells him he's not home and then 5 seconds later this guy calls me.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:02 PM on Jan. 7, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • You need to tell him straight out that he can't be doing that anymore. You may have had problems with your hubby in the past but you are trying to work things out and you need him to leave you alone. If he doesn't get the hint have your hubby call him.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 5:04 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • continued....
    My hubbby even mentioned casually the other day that he thinks this guy is in love with me something. He's always been a flirt but he's like that with everyone. Lately he keeps asking how long I'm going to put up with my hubby's bullshit. I don't have any kind of attraction to this guy at all and would never cheat on my hubby. He's been a good friend and I'd like to think that, that's all he thinks. But the things he says and does lead me to believe otherwise. Like trying to hug me! I pull away fast because I only like my hubby touching me. I don't know what to think. But everyone around me seems to think he's fallen in love with me. He knows without a doubt I would never cheat or leave the man I love.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:08 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Yikes from experience, i cheated on my sons father with his best friend, avoid him. You need to insist that you love your husband and want nothing but to be with him. I wouldn't tell your husband unless it gets worse after you tell him that he has to stop texting, and if you don't want to tell him that then just stop repling he should get the hint. Good Luck!!!
    CMead02

    Answer by CMead02 at 5:08 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • He doesn't even talk to my hubby really anymore unless we double date. He pretty much only calls me. He called me on new year's and not my hubby.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:10 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Tell him that your are great full for all the help in the past and that you are flattered by his affection for you but that it needs to desist. Stop answering his calls and texts and tell your Husband whats going on be honest with him and tell him that his friend makes you uncomfortable and then have DH tell him to stop too. Be polite and courteous and then if he doesnt stop pursue further action.
    ArmyWife112908

    Answer by ArmyWife112908 at 5:13 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • And you think he has a crush on you because he cares?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:57 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • My dh and I have another couple that are our closest friends in the world. The husband has a crush on me and everyone knows about it and we keep it out in the open and lighthearted. He's a stay at home dad and invites me over with my kids so they can all play, but I don't go alone because I just don't need to complicate the best friendships we have. He and I talk during the day sometimes, but it's never sneaky. My advice would be that if you want to maintain your friendship, keep a little distance.
    MommyAddie

    Answer by MommyAddie at 6:28 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • It is okay if you're Friends and al! Maybe you have A connection Etc... You know once you really help or save someone you feel obligated and A Closness! I've been in your situation.. I'm Firm on my Remarks when I say things Like Oh I'd Never do that! If you keep up on your expressions on Being firm & who you are & how you are that's Fine!! Try to not be alone or chat as much if you feel uncomfortable! Its Really Sad the Father of your Baby wasn't there when you needed it so badly!! Work on your Marriage & Enjoy your Daughter Etc...
    Angellinda

    Answer by Angellinda at 6:43 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

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