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How can I be happy when she is jealous and shows it out in the open?

I am 18 and have a step mother who is jealous that I am having my first child this year. I have talked to other people in the family and they said she acting the same way when they had there first child. My step Mother is unable to have children. But is it right that I feel guilty when I am happy and she gets upset. I am almost scared to talk about the baby and what I am feeling at the current moment. I don't even know how to express to her with what I feel without causing a big fight between us.

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mommy3809

Asked by mommy3809 at 5:24 PM on Jan. 7, 2009 in Pregnancy

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Answers (7)
  • dont be scared what are you going to do when your baby is here?
    she is going have to get over it. You might have to talk with her anyways.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:32 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • That is tough. I would try to be mellow about it around her.. she might feel that you are throwing it in her face that she can't have children. At least you see that it is because she is jealous and not against you personally. Try to be understanding without condescending.
    reflect1light

    Answer by reflect1light at 5:32 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Dont be afraid, there is nothing that you can do. Dont feed in to her and dont let her make you feel bad. A lot of people act like that, but she should still be happy for you. Good luck and dont let her stress you out.
    vroberts3677

    Answer by vroberts3677 at 5:36 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Well, at least she has a good reason to be feeling the way she does. Imagine watching everyone around you become pregnant while you know you never can and never will, that's got to be hard. My cousin's wife is infertile and has to watch while every year another one of us gets pregnant. It's really sad. I would tread lightly around her and try not to gush too much. You can gush and talk about your pregnancy to other friends and family members. It is unfair that you have to restrain yourself in your happiness (I know I jump at the chance to talk about my pregnancy/baby), but this woman is in a tough situation and as long as she's not outwardly rude or mean to you, I'd be as sympathetic as possible.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:37 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • I agree with the previous poster. It's really hard when all you want is a baby and you cannot have one. You really truly WANT to be happy for those around you who can, but sometimes it's really difficult. Maybe just try to talk about it a little less in front of her. OR...you can talk to her alone when it can just be you and her and try to give her a chance to tell you how she's feeling? I guess you know her best...so whatever you think. I would just try to understand where she's coming from. For as happy as you are...she'll never have that experience on her own.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:26 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Wow, it amazes me how selfish people can be. I suggest Email. It is a great way to say what you need to say. You can get the wording just right, and non confrontational. Maybe you can say that you are so excited about the baby. Tell her that you are sorry that she never experienced this herself, but glad that she was able to be a second mother to you. Tell her that you hope she will enjoy this experience along with you. Anyway, I hope that someone will set her straight before she trys to steal your joy. (Avoid her if you have to, but don't let that happen!)
    Scimecamommy

    Answer by Scimecamommy at 6:41 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • that's really sad that she cannot have a baby. I couldn't imagine. I would try not to talk about it around her if you can.
    heatherann0221

    Answer by heatherann0221 at 7:00 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

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