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i pull my hair out...

i have trichotillomania, a hair pulling disorder, and the only person i've ever been honest with about it is my boyfriend, who is also my DD's father. He said he wants to help me stop, but he doesn't understand and thinks i can quit instantly. i guarantee you it's not that easy. he gets mad when i tell him i do it, but it's really hard to stop. what can i do to make him understand, and help me instead of stressing me out more?

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:11 PM on Jan. 7, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • Educate him on your disorder. It's easy to be unsupportive when your ignorant.

    Answer by katskelington at 7:14 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • I have TTM as well & my DD [who's 16] & DH know about it & are supportive. If they catch me pulling a lot they'll say something or DH will ask if it's been a super stressfull day-that's when I do it the most. It's NOT easy-I'll pull on it just sitting at the computer or sitting in front of the tv if I have nothing to do with my hands. Ask him when he sees you doing it to maybe gently offer to hold your hand for a while to distract you or another quiet way to let you know..... DD will even come up behind me & put her hands on my head to remind me not to pull.


    Answer by redfairy41 at 7:17 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • I didn't know it was as common as it was...I do it too. It is a stress thing, the same as biting your nails is. Mine started when I was about 6 or 7. I don't know how much of it is stress now versus habit, but I still do it occasionally. Your boyfriend is half right though, you do kind of have to just stop...and having reminders of when you're doing it (since I can do it without realizing it) does help even though it is really annoying for a while.

    Answer by kabbot01 at 7:35 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • from what redfairy says it may be dealt with using a simple behavior modification action like him gently reminding you that you are doing it so you can stop. I love what she says her dd does for her. That is precious. I'm sure what you are dealing with isn't easy and hopefully he will understand that with his help you may be able to get some sort of control over the behavior. We all need help with something. Surely he is willing to help make things better for you both.

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:36 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • are you seeing a therapist for it? if so, maybe he could go with you to one of your appts? if it is an anxiety thing are you on meds for it?

    i really don't know anything about it, i'm just suggesting things from my perspective of mental health problems (which is what is sound like to me)

    Answer by bi-polarmommy at 8:20 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

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