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if you thought you hurt the feelings of the love of your life... would you not make every effort to let them know you are aware of what you done and will work on it and us and that you are sorry.

I told my boyfriend that I DONT FEEL that i am important to him... and I havent gotten an answer or phone call or anything concerning my feelings at all. I take such good care of him... we have a great relationship...never argue or fight... I do voice my opinion about his child manipulating us... but I try very hard not to let it bother me. I even told my boyfriend that I am completely ignored when I am in the same room as his son... he doesnt look at me or speak to me... my children welcome my boyfriend with open arms... they talk to him and are nice we play games... am so distraught over this that I dont know what to do.....

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photojournalist

Asked by photojournalist at 8:46 PM on Jan. 7, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • ok you told him how you feel, have you told him how he can fix the problem?
    unless you spell it out for a guy, he won't know how to fix your problems. tell him poin blank this is what i need and this is what i want you to do (but be nice about it). i'm guessing he hasn't done anything about it cause you haven't told him what to do
    bi-polarmommy

    Answer by bi-polarmommy at 8:55 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • You are talking about a man aren't you? lol!
    He is probally buring his head in the sand, as men do not like to choose between thier kids and newbies! Even after being married some men still feel so quilty over the divorce that they let their kids rule in their lives, and if he does not feel the same about your kids as his own, he probally feels you feel that way about his son. So take the issue to the source, keep him out of it and work on building a great relationship with his child. He probally feels badly over how his kid is compared to yours but that does not help you, saying it out loud.
    MikkiB

    Answer by MikkiB at 8:55 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • sometimes they don't see that they are doing anything wrong and they will take offense to that. you bf might be feeling like that. he probably feels that his kid is more important to him then you or your kids. some people get into relationships always saying or thinking i will never let anyone get in the way of my relationship with my children. it appears your may have. you could try counseling. or secretly video tape a time with his kid there and you. play it for him. he might see it's true then.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 8:56 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • It will only make him feel more protective for his son. Take it slow and build YOUR relationship with his child, as we both know you cannot demand one. You voicing your opinions about HIS son are probally why he is not trusting your feelings on the issue right now! So step back and take the reins back from him, and see how that works.
    Good luck and hope it all goes well...
    MikkiB

    Answer by MikkiB at 8:59 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Men are fixers of cars, lawn mowers mechanical stuff, you might as well have told him you have a kidney stone. They don't respond or try to make up anything because they feel they would be looking like a wuss and you were pulling his strings. You may see an improvement from now on and not a word said, you should make sure you acknowledge he has done better give him a pat on the head say "good boy" trust me that is about as good as it gets.If a man goes overboard trying to make up for something to much he really Fouled up!! LOL! He is probably trying to make sure his son doesn't feel he has choosen you over him, but that shouldn't stop you and his son from doing something together he enjoys, play playstation with him or throw the football. Just be yourself! Men are pretty easy to figure out if you watch wild kingdom much lol!
    1countrygal

    Answer by 1countrygal at 9:05 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Don't say anything against his son. Give him space now. If you don't hear in another week, give him a call and ask if you can talk. He may be working out now just what his feelings are. You can't dictate to him how he behaves. Decide what you want from the relationship and ask him, if he will talk in person to you, what he wants. It may be that this isn't the guy for you. Or he may find that he is ready to work on the relationship. He probably feels that his first priority is his son.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:06 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

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