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i feel betrayed am i over reacting?

my ex bf and i decided to be friends even though we had a nasty break up. he showed me an email from my cousin of whom i claimed as a sister cause we were so close. in the email she was bad mouthing me and saying that im with so and so now and im not with anyone. and she also hittin on him. i when i told her we were having problems she said to leave his sorry ass. i havent talked to her in about a month cause we both been busy with kids work ect. i just feel so hurt that she would stab me in the back like that. im thinking about cutting her out of my life. she done this b4 many times, but was when we were teens and i forgave her and passed those times off as being immature. we both near 30 now thought she grew up....not sure what to think im just so hurt


Asked by Anonymous at 9:19 PM on Jan. 7, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • yeah she sounds jealous of you, i did something similar to a friend when i was 14 because i was jealous, but i did grow out of it and would definitely do nothing like that now. you have every right to feel betrayed

    Answer by aliciatron at 9:21 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Keep her at an arm's length from now on and don't tell her anything personal or private since now you know for sure you can't trust her.

    Answer by Angie32Red at 9:21 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • It looks like she's proved who is important to her.....herself. She's family so you could be friendly at family gatherings but I wouldn't consider trusting her again.

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:22 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • I would let her know that you know what she said about you. And that you don't appreciate her talking about you in a negative way to your friends. If she tried to deny it tell her that you have physical proof. Remind her that Blood is thicker than Water and in the end all we have is Family. Leave the decision up to her in regards to continuing a relationship. YOU take the high road. Don't let her and her BS bring you down. You are better than that. Good Luck. GodSpeed.

    Answer by JessieK79 at 9:26 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • I would be hurt too. That's not a true friend much less family. I would cut contact with her. I probably wouldn't be ugly to her but would just stop excepting her calls. Your an adult not a highschooler you don't need that. Good luck

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:26 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • I think I would wait until you are calm about it, and then ask her if you can talk. I would ask her about it. I would NOT yell, accuse, or anything like that. I would only tell her the facts of what you read. I would then tell her how much it hurt you. Then I would walk away. Say nothing more about it. She, hopefully, will realize how much this hurt you. Maybe she will be forced to see how immature she is. But I would NOT argue at all with her about any of it. That only makes it worse. She may deny it. If she does, just say ok, and walk away from the whole thing. You are the better person here.

    Answer by at 9:28 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Well if it were me even though she is family I would watch my self around her and don't hang out with her just see her when you have family get togethers because you can not trust her and if she really cared about you why would she be trying to get with your ex and talking shit that is just fucked up. She should know when you break up with someone it is hard and she should be there for you. I think she just cares about her self.


    Answer by andrea86160 at 9:35 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Family is the hardest to "cut off" because they have an inside track to what's happening in your life even if you've cut all ties with them personally. If you decide to keep this cousin at arms' length (and I advise that!), you need to let other family members know what's going on. They don't need details, but they need to know why you don't trust this person with details about your life and need to commit to keeping your confidences.

    Answer by jburg2541 at 9:53 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • You don't have to quit talking to her altogether, but I wouldn't be warm and friendly. It won't take her long to get the message. Like others said, don't trust her with anything.

    Answer by casperskitty at 10:20 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Yes, keep her at arms length. It's hard to cut off a family member, but you don't have to cut her off just keep her at a distance. Treat her accordingly. You dont have to go tit for tat with her and never stoop to her level. Just keep it real and keep her out of your business.

    Answer by kttrusty at 10:21 PM on Jan. 7, 2009