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what's the problem..?

I'm not happily married, first off. I've tried to work things out. He doesn't respond to anything. I ended up having an affair a while back ( he knows about it and all ties are broken, but we ended up falling in love before we broke it off ) Anyway, i'm completely repulsed by my dh. I can't stand to kiss him, and especially don't even like the thought of sex with him. I still (from time to time) have sex with him after he begs and begs. But when i do... like just tonight... when we're done, sometimes even during, i fall to pieces. I sit and cry. I'm not sure why. Can anybody give me some insight?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:44 PM on Jan. 7, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • It's obvious you do not love him so why don't you let him go find someone who oes?I know that sounds rude and I am not meaning to be but don't you think it is unfair?You both deserve to find real love and your kids deserve parents that are happy-even if you are not together.,

    Answer by Bearsjen at 11:46 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • you not in need to move on. If it isn't working, it probably wont. Just leave!!

    Answer by Mikayla_lynn at 11:46 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • I am planning to leave, i've told him that. He begs me to stay though. but regardless, i'm leaving. i'm working on getting everything in order now.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:48 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Good luck with everything!it isn't easy ,even when you know it is time to end it.

    Answer by Bearsjen at 11:50 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • If your not happy with him just leave, 1 person cant put all they want in the hubby or wife thing but if the other really doesn't care more stress will be put on your life, then you will hate him more and more, which you are doing right now, but i won't just jump in bed the next love you found you need to heal yourself first so your child can be relaxed from the big chnge in life

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:50 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • MMMM. . .
    I think you should try some marriage counseling before you walk out the door. Marriage is a life long commitment, and you may find that with a little help you can fall in love with him again.
    I'm sorry you are having a hard time, but divorce isn't easy either. My guess is you still have some feelings that need to be worked through for your fling, and you resent your husband because of it. (no judgement here). I would see a counselor on my own as well as one for couples. good luck!

    Answer by lovinangels at 11:59 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • I agree with lovingangels. It's so easy for others to say, "divorce him if you're not happy". If you loved him once, you can fall in love with him again. Love IS a choice! If you have children, then you need to try to save your marriage, even more. By your statements, it sounds as if he does not want to lose you. How sad for him, to hear the woman who pledged to stay married to him til death, tell him that she's preparing to leave. Marriage is a commitment & worth seeking counseling for. It is not like breaking up with a boyfriend. Best wishes.

    Answer by etexmom at 12:11 AM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • I've tried to work on this for 2 years now. He doesn't respond to anything. Begs me to stay, but puts forth no effort to make things work. He's so oblivious he doesn't even notice i'm crying after we have sex. I can honestly say that i don't believe he's happy either, I just think he's scared to start over, as am i.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:18 AM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • I was actually in this situation myself, with my 1st fiance. we have two children together. I HATE (d) him. It got to the point that just the sight of him made me want to just spit on him. I hated being touched, talked to, breathed on by him. With that said, I learned that I let it get to far. I should have left long before I did. Because of my hate and the love he felt for me. I built a wall to him and he wouldn't come around to see her ( that is another story). I agree that a relationship is work and when you are married it is a 50 50 situation and you have to work on it, but if he isn't willing to work on it. Than what are you doing trying....just cut ties while you two can still talk civil to each other...good luck (hugs)

    Answer by shiningstar75 at 12:39 AM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • FYI ladies it is NEVER easy to leave.NEVER.

    Answer by Bearsjen at 12:40 AM on Jan. 8, 2009

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