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Does anyone else have a shpping problem?

I mean I shop for nice things for my kids and I but always hide them because Hubby will be pissed off and I know it. But I can't help myself. I figure I work just as much as he does and make good money. Why can't I buy some shoes, pocketbooks, and jewlery?
I don't see what the big deal is if the bills are paid.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:53 PM on Jan. 7, 2009 in Shopping

Answers (10)
  • I cant help it either, I dont buy stuff for me though. I see some thing(s) that I think DD would love, or would be cute on her and I buy problem is that when I check out Im at like $500 or $600. luckily DH doesnt care or I would be in BIG trouble lol

    Answer by Mikayla_lynn at 11:56 PM on Jan. 7, 2009

  • Who's paying the bills? Is all of his money going to the bills and all of your money's going to fun? I wouldn't blame him for being resentful if that's the case. How about savings? Do you guys have a savings plan that you agree to and both of you put into?

    Money is the #1 cause of divorce. Saying, "Why shouldn't I have fun?" when he's obviously very upset isn't very considerate of his feelings, and if he's being overly penurious when it's not necessary, he's not being considerate of yours. Money shouldn't be a my-way-or-the-highway deal, IMO.

    That being said, to me hiding = lying and that's not a good road to be going down for a healthy relationship. JMO.

    Answer by Avarah at 12:05 AM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • I agree with Avarah.. just paying the bills isn't enough. Do you have college funds going for your kids? Savings accounts that could support you if you were jobless for 6+ months? No credit card debt? Living paycheck to paycheck isn't really acceptable. It will and has bitten many good people in the ass. :( Read around on here how many Moms were "making it just fine" and then one thing happened - a cut in hours, one income loses their job, lay offs, car accident.... suddenly they are 3 months behind on everything. I would suggest putting yourself on a shopping budget. Talk to your husband, tell him you don't think its realistic not to spend *anything* on shopping and fun... but also get money in savings, and pay off debts.

    Answer by Serafyna at 6:23 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • I shop all the time online ,ebay,I can shop for hours on ebay,last month I went through our 3 bank accounts and depleted them .The bills were paid.I started at Christmas and did'nt stop.Tonight I went out and shopped the mall and came home and shopped ebay.You are not alone I believe there should be 12 step programs for shoppers.I've had this problem since I was a child.It's an addiction.and very hard to stop.

    Answer by cchp at 12:47 AM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • I don't think you need people telling you how and what you should be doing as in the previous answers.You reached out and asked if anyone else had a shopping problem.You don't need hear if you have college funds and a shopping budget is fine if you don't have a shopping problem.Don't let the preaching make you feel any worse.Lets see if we can help one another.And I know there are more of us out there we can start our own helpline .I go to see a therapist for my problem.We can try to abstain together.

    Answer by cchp at 1:03 AM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • Sorry you have this problem. My husband doesn't complain but our bills are paid, the kids have a college fund and we have a retirement. Maybe you should just ask him.

    Answer by lapcounter at 8:07 AM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • Do you have Bi-Polar? I just ask because I do and my spending was out of control.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:15 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • Hiding your shopping is a concern. Why do you have to other than "Hubby will be pissed off" . That is very concerning why you feel the need to hide the shopping. Where is the honesty in your relationship? How would you feel if your hubby hide his shopping or something like that. Is there a reason why you feel the need to hide this? Can you give yourself a budget. Sounds like you are making excuses, what is the real issue. How mad does he get? Does it lead to physical fights? If so, get out! If not, how can you stop your spending? How can you spend within limits and keep to those limits? Is it an impulse control issue? Or do you think if you buy it it will make you feel better? I know shopping can make some feel better, it releases endorphins in the blood and there makes us feel good. I know I can shop when I am feeling bad, instead of chocolate or ice cream. I wish you luck on perhaps you can talk to someone. A counselor.

    Answer by kimchimom at 6:26 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • I know I love to shop. It never caused problems with my marriage. However, I only shop at second hand stores. And Target for underwear and bras, etc. I never used a credit card and never will. I only use checks or cash. I only bring what I need for the shopping. If I do not have enough, then I have to decide what will stay in the store and what will I buy now. Our bills are paid too but we never spend so much we do not have anything for food or gas. Things that matter more than that nice piece of something. Best of Luck! Oh yes, we both have savings too.

    Answer by kimchimom at 6:26 PM on Jan. 9, 2009

  • I just can't stay out of stores. When I go in for one thing, I come out with ten. I simply can't stick with a budget.

    Answer by evelyngayle at 9:39 PM on Jan. 11, 2009

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