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Am I being over-protective?

My ex wants to take our 6 month old after being MIA for 5 months. The only thing I asked was that he get a pack n play for him to nap in while he's at his house. I even offered to look on freecycle in my area for one. He thinks it's ok to let him sleep on the bed if he puts pillows around him. I explained that he rolls and scoots around and could easily fall off the bed like this. If I was sure that he would be watching him the whole time he was sleeping it wouldn't be such a big deal, but he'll probably go play video games. He told me I was being over-protective and acted like I asked him to cut his arm off. I'm also worried that he'll lie about getting one so I'm thinking I will check when I drop the baby off. Am I going too far? I really don't think so.


Asked by Anonymous at 5:57 AM on Jan. 8, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • No it's not being too overprotective. I've often rubbed people the wrong way because of my expectations when the kids are in their care. My mom especially. She has realized that I'm not being like this or saying this because I don't trust her or think that she dosen't know what she's doing. It really is in the best interest of my kids. She's fine with it, I've done the same with my my MIL.
    I found out today that my FIL gave my son pop the other day when he picked him up from school and took him for lunch. I didn't have a chance to go over what he can have and what he can't have. Just my personal choice for the kids to have pop on special occasions and in very little quantities. I'll be having a chat with him, ofcourse nicely.

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 9:35 AM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • I don't think so, but yet I've been told that I'm over-protective. Sounds to me like he has no clue what a 6 month old can do...maybe he's still expecting that 1 month old that pretty much can't do anything but just lie there. Just realize that even if he gets a pack n play, it doesn't mean he's actually going to use it.

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 6:00 AM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • I would honastly give a shit less about the pack n play but I would have a huge problem giving my kid to his dad if he was just gone for 6 months!! he probabaly would have to come to my house and see the kid for quite some time!!

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 6:00 AM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • Ugh. Good point! The thought of me leaving him with him is so scary! there's a ton of other things I'm worried about too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:01 AM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • And he won't come to my house. I tried to get him to agree to that or meeting me somewhere but he won't...and I can't keep him from seeing him right? Or can I if he won't agree with me? Should I just tell him to take me to court?

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:04 AM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • There is no such think as a over protective mother! TRUST your gut! You are right to not feel confortable with living your baby with the father.

    Answer by Paty_hotmommy at 6:17 AM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • Honestly... You might have to do that!
    Tell him to take you to court and then you can state why you dont feel confortable with him taking care of your baby.
    Even if he gets visitations he might get supervised ones - that is a good thing...

    Also, if he pays no child support and dont feel like paying them he will NOT take you to court. If he takes you to court he will have to be willing to pay child support forever or he will go to jail.

    Answer by Paty_hotmommy at 6:19 AM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • I'd go to court. My ex likes to pop in and out of our daughters life as the mood strikes. Luckily I did take him to court when she was a baby. I have custody of her. He has "reasonable visitation." According to the judge (IL) that means when I see fit. If he wants to take her on vacation and I don't think that's a reasonable request I can say no. If he wants her to come stay at his house for the summer and I don't see that as reasonable, I can say no. And I have. I let him come see her at our house. We've even allowed him to stay at the house for weekend visits when he can't afford a hotel. But I do not allow her to go stay with him very often at all. He's proven he's not capable so I see that request as unreasonable.

    Answer by southenrmunchkn at 6:40 AM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • After 5 months away your ex is basically a stranger in your 6 month olds eyes, tell him if he wants to see her he can do it on your terms or take you to court for visitation rights!

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:23 AM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • no, you're doing exactly what your supposed to be doing. As a mother it is your job to protect your children. He should definitly get a pack and play. Not only can the baby roll but at 6 months there's still a possibility for SIDS ans two of the big no no's for SIDS are a soft matress and pillows, which is his bed...I would not let him take him with out somewhere for him to sleep and I'm sure the courts would agree. Stay strong, you are right to push this.

    Answer by Sammieanne at 9:18 AM on Jan. 8, 2009