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Pack rat or hoarder?

When we got married 5 years ago we both knew that the other was a pack rat. Since we've had kids and bought our own house I've gotten over my need to keep everything! My DH has not and this is sometimes hard on our relationship. He expects the house to be clean all the time. I feel that I can do this if there wasen't so much junk everywhere. He thinks if we had more shelves in the house then the clutter wouldn't be an issue. I don't was to put up shelves for clutter, I don't feel that clutter should be displayed!!! He has accepted that I get rid of mine or the kids things. But his stuff is off limit, clothes, old books that he hasen't read in FOREVER! And such junk like that. I'm begining to think that his pack ratness is more like hoarding. I desire to have a clutter free house and don't see any end in sight. Do you have a situation like this? What do you do?


Asked by AmandaH321 at 9:22 AM on Jan. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Level 20 (8,472 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • When he's not home, take some trashbags and throw EVERYTHING that is not necessary out. I HATE clutter and I NEVER save anything. When I moved in with my husband, I went through his belongings and he still had school papers from 7th grade! I mean what the heck do you NEED those for? Throw it away!

    If you feel attachement to things like that, then you have serious issues and need to get some help.

    Answer by IhartU at 10:14 AM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • My DH was just like this. Then we had the kids and needed more space and couldn't afford to move. So, we HAD to make room. I "accidentally" threw some things away. He realized that I did it on purpose. He was very mad for like a month. Then after we talked about it for the month, he got over it. Now, He throws everything away. He come to a realization on his own after that, taht the kids and I could fill the void if he just let us. He usually has a HUGE "cleaning" spree after we have a devastating situation occur.

    Answer by angeladh82 at 9:38 AM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • isnt there a show on TLC about this same thing? take him on the show they will get rid of his stuff lmao i wish i could remember the name of the show lol

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 9:56 AM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • Give him one room (or basement or garage or attic) that is just his. The rest of the house is off limits for his clutter. I'm a packrat and that's how I had to control myself. There is no reason to burden others with our clutter.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:11 AM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • Give him one room (or basement or garage or attic) that is just his. The rest of the house is off limits for his clutter. I'm a packrat and that's how I had to control myself. There is no reason to burden others with our clutter. --- I agree with admckenzie.... That is a great idea. My hubby is a packrat but I have to admit a bunch of the things he holds on to end up saving us money in the long run. I wish he could organize it better so maybe I will have to give him that " room".....

    Answer by TimsBaby at 10:15 AM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • I used to be a horrible packrat. We ended up buying another house when we had another baby and I'm not kidding when I say all I took was washer, dryer, fridge, computers pictures and clothes and left the rest behind (we still own the house) and I thought I'd just go get things as I needed it. Turns out that I haven't had a need for very much of it at all. I swore I'd not clutter this one up with things we didn't need but the empty house only lasted a couple of years and now I'm having to think about what I don't need again and I need to go thru it all again. But I'm not throwing out those papers from school (I keep the really informative ones like what letters to Santa, what I want to be when I grow up that my kids make).

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 10:58 AM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • I'm all for keeping things tha hold a memory to us. But he comes up with a way for everything to matter! He has the garage and more than half the basement. We share the closet and it's a big closet and he's taken over most of it!!! I'm loosing my mind. I've thrown some things out without him knowing and he's ended up looking for it or finding out! ARGH!!!

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 4:29 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • The parents will call and say they found a box or bag of his stuff and when can we come get it or when can they bring it over? I tell them never and beg them to throw it out. He's already forgotten about it! He has stuff in my parent's attic, and both his parent's houses!

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 4:31 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • Throw the stuff away. Hoarding is SO unhealthy and it's only going to get worse. My friend hasn't been in her parents house in 5 YEARS because they are such bad hoarders. He may need counciling to get through it.

    Pack rat is just a nice word for hoarding BTW....

    Answer by munch12502 at 11:10 PM on Jan. 8, 2009