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The company my hubby works for went under a few weeks ago and therefore he doesn't have a job. He is looking but until then, we are on a tight budget. My hubby doesn't want to go back to court to change the child support order because his ex depends on the money and he is afraid of his kids going without. The unemployment he will get will cover his child support payments but really nothing else. I make about $40,000 a year plus about $6,000 a year in child support and I have 2 of my own children. So we are going from a total income of $95,000 a year minus the just over $700 a month he pays which brings us down to about $86,000 a year to about $46,000. This weekend me and DH have decided to sit down and figure out exactly how we are going to make this work. I have made a list of suggestions and I know my DH is not going to like some of them but I just don't see any other way around it. In addition to limiting the household budget as much as we can, I have come up with these things as well.
1. I understand he wants to continue to pay child support based off of the income he is no longer making but we need to stop paying for activities, he pays $80 a month for his DD's dance class she is 8 and $95 for his 11 year old son's karate. They are not necessary and we can't afford them anymore. I will admit that I don't plan on taking my kids out of their activities but my ex pays for 75% of the activities so the amount I pay is much smaller AND I am the one who still has a job.
2. On his weekends, he likes to take his kids out to dinner just the 3 of them (I do something special with my kids too at that time) but he is going to have to start taking them to do something free, like go on a picnic or eat at home. I think the best thing to do is just everyone stay home and we do a fun dinner like make your own tacos or make your own pizza things like that.
3. We aren't going to be able to buy as many presents for the kids this Christmas. The thing is, my hubby and his ex seem to compete every Christmas as to who buys more presents so this may be harder on him. I figured we can spend about $75 per kid. The other thing though is my kids will get more from our house because my ex lives 900 miles away so he just sends me $200 for each of our two and I put that with whatever we budget to spend on them and all the presents are from me, hubby and their dad. I think we can just explain to his kids that some of the presents are from their dad.
4. He is going to have to talk to his ex wife about not asking for extra money. It seems like every month almost, she calls asking for extra, like this month she said the kids grew out of their winter clothes and she is asking for an $300 for new winter clothes (isn't that what child support is for?).
Can anyone suggest anything else? I am really nervous about how he is going to react to this, he gets kind of touchy when we talk about how much we do for his kids because he is very concerned about providing for them. I hope he understands that like my kids staying in their activities, well that's because their dad pays for most of it anyway. Personally, I think he should file for a modification of child support and pay less to their mom and then we will have more to help pay for the extras but he doesn't want to do that so there is not much I can do there. I really don't want to get to the point where I have to say "you have your money and I have mine, I'll take care of my kids and you take care of yours" but on the other hand, I don't want it to be my kids have to give up everything because he lost his job while his kids don't give up anything.
Asked by Anonymous at 5:17 PM on Nov. 18, 2011 in Money & Work
Answer by Anonymous at 3:25 PM on Nov. 19, 2011
Answer by Anonymous at 2:33 PM on Nov. 19, 2011
Answer by Anonymous at 12:08 PM on Nov. 19, 2011
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