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Should I be receving add'l IHSS service hours for my Autistic son requiring dressing, feeding, bathing, assistance with toileting and also requires contant supervision as he has left our home on more than a few occasions and the police needed to be called for assistance in finding him. Please help... Confused...

I am currently and have been receiving 27 hours of assistance for approx. 3 years as the IHSS provider for my 6 year-old, Autistic, 30-week preemie son. He was initially diagnosed prior to his second birthday by a Regional Center Psychologist and I was in such disbelief and basically ignorantwhen it came to properly understanding the disorder that I went on to get 2nd and 3rd opinions which were no different from the first. He has very limited verbal and social abilities, was just toilet-trained at approx. 5 1/2 years old and also so has some severe behavioral and emotional difficulties. He lives wih myself, his 17-year old brother and his father and it is somewhat trying, if not frustraing for our family as a whole. I find myself making excuses to complete strangers for the fact that he has limited verbal and social abilities even before any questions are asked. I feel terrible for this, am I alone?

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ProgressiveMom

Asked by ProgressiveMom at 8:46 PM on Nov. 18, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 3 (25 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • You sound like a good mom,, and I wonder what he will do when you and your husband can't care for him anymore? Have you investigated some kind of living facility for him, or a kind of daycare? You have alot on your plate, and I am sorry, but I am unsure if the SS will kick in more hours to help you?Huggs to you!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 8:59 PM on Nov. 18, 2011

  • I think you should be happy with the help you are getting instead of worrying about could you get more. You get 27 hours a week, that seems like a lot to me. I understand your son has a disability but he is still your son and I don't see why you and your DH can't be the ones to be taking care of him most of the time
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:03 PM on Nov. 18, 2011

  • Anonymous, maybe I should clarify.. I get 27 hours a month to care for him and iot allows for things that are above and beyond the usual and customery duties of a parent of a "healthy" child. He has roughly 2-3 doctors appts weekly which does no include the numerous therapies that he must attend weekly (9). Again, my child is 6 years old and has just been partially toilet-trained which I believe to be a behind the progress of a child comparable to his age. My husband works full-time and also goes to school, therefore does not have as much time as we would like to complete these extraordinary tasks. And furthermore, I cannot work full-time because I am actually working double-time and a half caring for one child who also has pulmonary issues. I asked a simple question of the people that may know the answer, not of the people that do not have any suggestions to make in a form other than criticisms. Answer post with answers..
    ProgressiveMom

    Comment by ProgressiveMom (original poster) at 9:16 PM on Nov. 18, 2011

  • kimigogo thank you very much for both your positive feedback and suggestion...
    ProgressiveMom

    Comment by ProgressiveMom (original poster) at 9:20 PM on Nov. 18, 2011

  • It never hurts to check into all of the possible options available. Is there an advocate you can get to help you get through all of this ? Another option might be to see if there would be any volunteers from church, high school or wherever that could also help. You have got to be exhausted. Just keep going and make sure to laugh every day. It helps get through the tough times... . Good Luck...
    LeJane

    Answer by LeJane at 10:02 PM on Nov. 18, 2011

  • even 27 hours a month, heck this is not the government's child, it's yours you should feel lucky to get the help at all instead of questioning whether or not you "deserve" more
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:12 AM on Nov. 19, 2011

  • I have a multi special needs son now 16 YO who has a history of running,when we asked for help in caring for him we were told to buy alarams and get better locks on the door. We now need keys at all times to get out and have a professional alarm system. My family is DH,self and DS.
    RobinChristine

    Answer by RobinChristine at 7:35 AM on Nov. 19, 2011

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