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how do i ebf my 5 wk old daughter and still take care of my other 2 kids?

i am having a really hard time ebf my 5 wk old daughter and take care of my boys (ages 5 and 4 ) i feel like doing the best thing for my daughter makes me a bad mom to my boys. i'm always bf when one of them needs something and i sound like a broken record when i say you have to wait a min. dont get me wrong i can and have had to walk around and do other stuff while i'm bf but then i feel like i'm taking away from her while she's trying to eat. i bf my 1st for 3 months till he self weaned when i started working and my 2nd was tounge tied and wouldn't latch. now i finally am able to stay home and bf but i'm getting stretched too thin. i love her to pieces but i feel like she is the only one in my life and i have a partner and 2 other kids who still need me. help if you have any advise.

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ashleyfoulds

Asked by ashleyfoulds at 10:20 AM on Jan. 8, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (10)
  • I wasn't able to BF my boys for long, but I certainly don't think it makes you a bad mom to your other children! I think you're being really hard on yourself. Having a new sibling is already going to be tough on them, so trying to get your attention and time will be a struggle for them. Actually, this is a struggle for the whole family. The only thing you can do is to try to spend time with all of them when you can. Have you thought about reading a book to your older 2 while you nurse? Maybe you can snuggle with them while the baby sleeps? Make time to sit down with them and play for 20 minutes while the baby naps? There are ways to do it, but don't stress yourself out. I'm sure you're doing a great job! : )
    Luvmylilmonkies

    Answer by Luvmylilmonkies at 10:26 AM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • I always walked around and did what I had to do with my other kids while I breastfed. I dont think it takes away from the baby. They just want to eat and dont care what youre doing as long as they get milk lol. I have 5 kids so I understand wondering if youre taking away from other kids but I dont think you are. You are home fulltime and probably doing alot more then you did when you worked and werent home. I am sure they are just fine.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 10:30 AM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • thank you luvmylilmonkies. i didn't think about reading a book. thats a good idea.
    ashleyfoulds

    Answer by ashleyfoulds at 10:31 AM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • Buy one of those slings it's great to for hands free breast feeding and you always have your nights to bond just the two of you but if the boys aren't acting upset by waiting from time to time don't rush yourself
    amommy2a2yrold

    Answer by amommy2a2yrold at 10:50 AM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • I know the feeling. The constant feedings won't last much longer. You'll get through it. I felt like I constantly let my others watch TV or use the computer when I was nursing. You're doing the best you can.
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 11:14 AM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • I wouldnt know what it would be like to bf and have two older children to take care of. I was taking care of a one year old and breast feeding twins. You just have to multi task (that's what moms do best) buy a sling to carry the baby in that way she can nurse and you can have your hands free.
    Krystle21

    Answer by Krystle21 at 11:38 AM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • You won't have any more time when you're washing bottles, mixing formula and feeding the baby from a bottle. Explain that this is important food & time for the baby and you'll be right with them. Or let them sit on your lap and read a book. You can put her in a sling--freeing up your hands so you'll have more time.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:47 AM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • Aww, don't feel this way. It doesn't make you a bad mom at all but rather a great one for asking for advice. I've never BF any of my three so I can't help you there. But I can tell you that it's a matter of balance which, IMO comes with time. So hang in there, you're doing an awesome job and when you find what works for you (and you will), stick with it. GL and I hope this helps some.

    LovingParent08

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 1:16 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • I personally think that your boys just need to understand. It will take a little time for them to 'get' that they aren't the center focus, but they will understand if you tell them. Maybe it will make them a bit more self sufficient. If you have a discussion with them and put it in kid terms why you have to take so much time to feed the baby and pay attention to the baby, they will understand and possibly help eachother so that they don't have to interrupt you. Make sure you make up for the time you have to spend focused on the baby by playing a game with them, giving them lots of love and encouragement for helping eachother and staying out of your hair while you are busy.. Everybody adjusts differently, but you'll make it work
    kristal2146

    Answer by kristal2146 at 1:33 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • stick to it. At your boys ages they can wait for things. You could consider having snacks at a level they can reach, special books to read durring that time, or a basket of special toys that are for when you nurse. leave a couple cups down low so they can get drinks for themselves when you can't. Eventully feeding will be more predictable and theings will smooth out. My midwife said for many moms the adjustment to having 3 kids takes 12wks before you get a real routine going
    Lynette

    Answer by Lynette at 2:59 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

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