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i have a ten month old son, and just found out we've got another one on the way! i am so nervous about this little suprise because i have heard its a mess having two so close together, but then i heard that 17 months apart is the perfect age to have your babies. Which is it? any advise?

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disheveled

Asked by disheveled at 12:37 PM on Jan. 8, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 3 (17 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • i think it depoends on the kids and how much patients you have .i watch i alil girl ewho is 2 and i have a 7 month old and i hate it i would never want kids this close together .i also have a 6 yr old dd and i think the gap betwwen my 6yr and my 7 month old is pretty good ilike that age gap ..good luck and congrats
    britme1027

    Answer by britme1027 at 12:40 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • Congrats! Here's my take: I have 3 kids. The first 2 are 4 yrs apart. They hate each other with every fiber of their being, lol or so it seams. The last 2 are 18 mos apart. They hate each other with every fiber of their being, lol. The first and 3rd get along almost perfectly! I work with them alot to tolerate each other. That being said - they are all 3 very protective of each other! I think everyone is different.
    Babylove76

    Answer by Babylove76 at 12:51 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • It's both. As britme says - it depends.
    Some families do really well with kids close - they are going through similar stages and interests at the same time, can share toys, etc.
    Some families don't do well - too much fighting over those "shared" toys, etc.

    Will it be hard having two so dependent on you at the same time? Yes. But you can do it.

    Make certain the older one still feels special by having a weekly "date" with just him, leaving the baby at home.

    Congrats and good luck!
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 12:51 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • It depends on the kids and it depends on the parents.

    I have a 4 year old, 3 year old and 2 year old right now. (4 year old will turn 5 next month) Honestly, the 22 month spacing wasn't bad...the 11 month one, I really don't recommend it! (the youngest two were BOTH surprises)

    You just get a routine in place and work the baby into it. You do what you have to do and no more, no less. Who cares if the house gets vacuumed or dusted all the time? It will eventually be done.
    TiccledBlue

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 12:55 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • Our first 2 are 16 months apart...Of course it's hard in the beginning trying to adjust, but they are 4 and 5 now and SOOOOOO close, it's an amazing bond...Try to get as much help as you can on a consistent basis...and remember...you can only do one thing at a time...they'll both be fine and it's okay if one of them has to cry while you're tending to the needs of the other.
    Looking back, DH & I wish we had a 4th right after our 3rd was born...oh well...!!
    CONGRATULATIONS to you!!
    JillianMomOf3

    Answer by JillianMomOf3 at 12:55 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • Mine are 25 months apart and I beleive somewhere between about 18 months and 36 months is ideal. It will be difficult, but I think well worth it in the long run. There is 2 years between my sister and myself and while we had our difficult times we also had wonderful times growing up. My best friend has 5 years between all of them and they all can't stand each other.
    aeneva

    Answer by aeneva at 12:56 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • We live with my brother and sister in law and they have a boy that is 13 months older than my son. We all thought that he would be upset about not being the "baby" anymore but he loves my son. They play together all the time, the only hard part is the sharing thing lol but i think that would be true no matter what kids it is and how far a part they are. It was difficult in the beginning because I baby sit my nephew all the time, but it got easier as they both got older. One good thing to remember though, when one needs a diaper change, usually the other one does to lol
    LadyUsagi

    Answer by LadyUsagi at 2:35 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • My girls are 16 months apart, and it was hard at first. When I brought Adrianna home, my older daughter, Taylor did not know what to think. At first she was excited, but then she realized that her sister was not going anywhere and the jealousy started. Now, Adrianna is one, and Taylor just wants to be around her all of the time. The tricky part for me is to get Taylor to understand that sissy cannot play like she plays. I have found that it is getting easier though. Good Luck!
    torilee_03

    Answer by torilee_03 at 4:37 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • First of all, congratulations! Second, I've had babies who were almost exactly 2 years apart, and then babies 13 1/2 mos apart ...

    The good thing about having kids closely spaced is that they're pretty much going through every phase back to back. The down side is that they're pretty much going through every phase back to back. LOL So while you will have two kids in diapers, they'll potty train within a year or so of eachother! If you're lucky, like my neighbor was, they'll potty train eachother! Yes, it's a lot of work, but if you're like me, and thrive on chaos, it's wonderful too.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:40 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • everyone is different. my brother and i were one year and 6 days apart. my husbands aunt and uncle are 10.5 months apart, and they were the younger 2 of 4, can you imagine?!?!? but my son is 21 weeks and we are starting to try for the second one. my mum personally said it was easier with my bro and i being so close, as soon as i finished a phase he entered it, and we always had a friend to play with. remember, it is all about your house hold and family, not what others think
    MissHeidi0304

    Answer by MissHeidi0304 at 11:04 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

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