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Birth parent adopting back their children?

I have heard of cases where an adult adoptee is able to petition to have their birth parents adopt them back. Several were domestic adoptions when the adoptee was a newborn and a few were cases of CPS terminations....What are your thoughts on this?


Asked by Anonymous at 1:15 PM on Jan. 8, 2009 in Adoption

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Answers (46)
  • when a child is born they didn't ask to be placed with adoptive parents. They didn't pick which adoptive parents ---this is something that happened TO them. They were not an active participant. The adults involved made this decision and each party had their reasons for participating in the adoption process. So to get upset, at a grown adult, for making a decision about their life, is a little harsh. This is not a process of rejection but a process of healing and claiming. An addition. To say that anyone OWES you anything is crazy. That is like turning around and saying well then you owe me room and board for those 18 some odd years. No. Its not rejecting anyone, it is simply expanding their individual need to know that the person who gave birth to them loves them. If a piece of paper brings that completeness...well I say let it be then.  BTW, no child owes any parent a damn thing.

    Answer by frogdawg at 7:30 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • this is so tricky so I can only answer for what I would do if I had adopted a baby.I think that it is wrong to let take kids from adopted parents from people once everything has been processed.I understand birth parents change their minds, and even their lives but to change a child's life AGAIN just seems selfish.I had an aunt that this happened to, the birth dad changed his mind and the court said "in the best interest of family" that the father needed "one more chance".I think if you give up your rights to a child that you have to live w/the consequences.I mean, if I steal a car, I may be truly sorry and mean it but I still have to go to jail kwim?it's just ery tricky because each situation is different.

    Answer by Bearsjen at 1:21 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • The adopting back that you're hearing about is most often when the ADOPTEE is of age and makes the personal decision of wanting to be adopted back. It's not like the birthparents are "stealing" their child back, that child WANTS to go back and is willingly going back to their birthfamily. And I can't believe someone would compare relinquishment to stealing a car... This is what people are talking about when they call adoption a money making industry. I don't think Adoptees appreciate being compared to an object.

    Answer by lillie023 at 1:26 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • Thank you for clarifying better than I could Lillie....

    I'm the OP....And Lillie's description is exactly what I mean. The adoptee is an adult and WANTS to be adopted back. Apparently some states allow this to happen so long as the adoptee is not over 21 yrs of age. I am just curious of everyone's thoughts on this. Are there people who think the adult adoptee is in the wrong for doing this?

    **also want to mention that I know nothing of this personally.....but I have read journals about it here and other places where it has happened, even when the adoptee was taken by CPS and adopted out**

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:38 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • I don't know how I would feel about it if my daughter wanting me to adopt her back. If she was brought up well and very loved by her adoptive parents, I would be hesitant. If it was due to some form of abuse, whether it be psychological or physical, I am sure I would consider it....but she would also have to hold me back from wanting to beat them within an inch of their lives.

    I am sure with something like this, every situation will vary greatly. I would hope that the person wanting this (the adult adoptee) has thought it through thoroughly in terms of all the legal ramifications...and is for certain this is what they truly want and not something done on a whim.

    Answer by randi1978 at 1:58 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • An adult adoption doesn't take away the legal parental relationship of the adoptive parents! In the case of an adult adoptee wanting to re-claim the legal relationship to his/her birth family - it does NOT negate the legal tie to the adoptive family. What it does do - is allow the adult adoptee to claim both sides of his/her family. There can be huge benefits to the adoptee in this. But, as in all things adoption-related if the triad members cannot set aside their own posessiveness about "roles" and act in the interest of what the adult adoptee needs as a fellow human being there can be strife. People can "think and feel" whatever they want but in this case, if an ADULT adoptee takes this action I'm in full support of it. The "parenting a child" need is far past and if he/she wants to have more than one adult parent relationship that is their right.

    Answer by PortAngeles1969 at 2:11 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • I am a bmom who just adopted back my son on the day after Thanksgiving. He was adopted at birth by his aparents, our open adoption was closed when he turned five and just before he turned nineteen we were reunited and two years later, now, his dad (my husband) and I have adopted him back.
    Here in Colorado, it was considered a full minor adoption because it took place before he turned 21. My son was the one who had to petition the courts for us to adopt him back (In Colorado, children from age 14 and on can do this.)

    Answer by casjoh at 2:32 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • Because it was considered a minor adoption, his dad and I are legally considered his parents now. He actually received ANOTHER birth certificate with our names on it (this instead of just allowing him full access to his original birth certificate which carries the same information.)
    If the adoption had been after his twenty-first birthday then our adoption would not have been considered a minor adoption but instead an adoption where his father and I were claiming him as our heir but not as his legal parents.
    If you have any further questions about this, please don't hesitate to ask.

    Answer by casjoh at 2:36 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • I'm curious what that has done to your son's relationship with his parents - his adoptive parents that is? By you becoming his parents legally are his adoptive parents, the ones who raised him ,no longer seen as his legal parents? What were the circumstances that led your son to pursue a legal change? I think back to cases years ago where children chose to legal "divorce" their parents (not adopted children) and those were usually driven by abuse, mistreatment, etc. Would this be the same or just to "re-establish" the natural relationship between child and first parents?

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:47 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • I realized I didn't say what I thought of this, but I think it probably goes without saying, that for my family, this was one of the most amazing experiences and was something not only share by my son, his parents, and siblings, but his grandparents (from both sides) were with us in the court room to share the moment when the judge finalized the adoption. It was a moment, for us, and our experience, of our family being whole for the first time in almost twenty-one years.

    Answer by casjoh at 2:47 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

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