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Do any of you ever feel like you have lost yourselves? Do you ever feel like you let yourself go just so you can raise your kids? Most of the time all I ever feel like is a mom and a wife and a maid! How do you stay your own person too?

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Asked by Mommy2Bx32008 at 1:21 PM on Jan. 8, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (14)
  • Every day i feel like all i am is a wife and maid. So this year I'm doing something for me. I don't know what. But, It's going to be big. :) lol...

    Answer by DancerMomof2 at 1:25 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • Well I made the choice to be a mom and wife and that IS who I am. But I am also a daughter, neice, grandma, etc. When I am home with my kids I work on my education and what not. Its what I do for myself and for them because eventually i will be able to go back to work and I may as well have a degree.

    Answer by gemgem at 1:27 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • Yes. I feel like I'm a maid when they don't pick their s**t up, a referee when they are fighting and a bank when they want, want want lol.

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 1:28 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • I've lost myself completely.. that's why I see a counselor and am working on getting over PPD.. its completely taken over my life and makes me so crazy and emotional. I feel like the person I was before I had baby is completely gone and I can't get her back. I'm working on getting it back slowly, by setting little goals each week and really trying to accomplish things that mean a lot to me.

    Answer by kristal2146 at 1:30 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • When you find out will you let me know? My life is my children and they are still young.

    Answer by PeytonNBella at 1:30 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • I manage to stay me by my husband having days when he takes the kids out, about once a fortnight, and then I have a nice day to myself, and do whatever I want to, meet up with friends etc and just try to be myself.

    Answer by HNK11 at 1:37 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • I understand that I made the choice to be a mom and wife but I'm sorry....thats not all I am! I am my own person too. I know she is in there...I just gotta find her and figure out what she likes to do again. I was my own person before I had a husband and children and I think I will be a better mom and wife if I can be happy with myself again. I shouldn't neglect my own needs just because I am a mom and wife and maid.

    Answer by Mommy2Bx32008 at 2:24 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • I have had to think about this because I am now at home and not working. I have my Masters in my field of practice and I identified myself strongly, and still do, as a professional - just not working at the moment with a paid salary. Oh, I work now. But I am also happy to be my child's mom. I'm assuming we all are. It is okay to want to be more in addition to that. I have made peace by volunteering, working PRN in my field, and taking classes and workshops in my field as it fits into my new schedule. Which is not easy. Also I'm trying to make new friends - and I'm not the social type of person in general. I'm good with a good book. But I guess taking care of you and who you are makes us a better parent in the end. I hope. Only time will tell.


    Answer by frogdawg at 2:33 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • Thats how I feel. Thats why I make it a point to come online, it snaps me out of the mommy only mindset for a little bit.
    Also, Im working on my spirituality...its the one thing that is all about me.

    Answer by BonesDragonDew at 2:36 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • You have to make some time for yourself every day. You have to do something that you enjoy doing. You have to remind yourself of who you are, and that you are not just somebody's wife or mother. It's all in the way that you think about yourself. You have to remind yourself that you were a person before and you will be a person now. You have to determine not to let others identify who you are and tell yourself that this is what you choose to do, not what you have to do.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:04 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

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