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Bye bye baby weight, hello divorce??

I've told him that even if he doesn't want sex, at least just kiss me, but he never even tried. The last time we really kissed was over a year ago. When we have sex, which is barely ever, he doesn't touch me or anything to make me feel good. Before pregnancy, we used to have sex every other day. I'm so tired of feeling unwanted although I've told him so many times. I forgave him for porn masturbation and online cybering with many women and he stopped but still doesn't want ME. It hurts because I used to have so many men falling for me, and now I just feel so ugly and unwanted. After I get my shape back and he still doesn't give me any intimacy, I'm out. He says although he doesn't want sex, he still hugs me and loves me, but it's not enough! What should I do?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:03 PM on Jan. 8, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • It sounds like HE needs to open up. YOU are doing all of the talking and trying to solve what I feel to be a huge problem in your marriage but you are the only one working at it. You cant solve this on your own without leaving being your only option. Of course you are doing what you can to save your marriage, but there is still something missing...your PARTNER. Tell him to start talking or start walking. If he loves you he needs to SHOW that to you. Words just are not enough.
    LovinEveryDay

    Answer by LovinEveryDay at 2:19 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • OP here..

    I just REALLY want intimacy, to feel close to someone, to feel loved, wanted. I don't want to live every day wondering why I'm with him and why I'm settling for this. =(
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:04 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • â™” iif u dnt wanna wonder why ur with him or why ur settling for this than dnt settle.... u cnt expect anything other than wat ur getting cause u SETTLE. sweetie u need to get urself up and do wat u need to do for YOU. dnt let no man make u feel unwanted or un-attractive...... if he aint williing to try to change or make it better than thats his shit and HE needs to work on that... u can only do so much and it comes to a point where u are not a victim to ur pain but a volunteer.... dnt settle sweetie.... ur better than that. â™”
    kwiseman19

    Answer by kwiseman19 at 2:08 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • Does he have an issue about you giving birth? I know this couple that the husband was completely grossed out seeing a baby come out of that area! So they went years with out intamicy and she had many affairs to get the feelings she wanted but now they are finally back in the groove! I do not believe her hubby knows about the affairs. Will he talk to you about it? Tell you why? Hope things get better for you!
    jem102675

    Answer by jem102675 at 2:09 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • Him not wanting to kiss you at all is a problem. When you love someone you want to kiss them.
    What is really going on in his head. You still loose that weight if if will make you feel better!
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 2:11 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • OP here.. thanks ladies

    The thing is we stopped having sex when I got pregnant, so it can't be totally about me giving birth. I understand that some guys just aren't attracted to pregnant women, but to completely not care and turn to "other things" instead of me even after I gave birth is just not right to me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:17 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • tell him to kiss off and get the hell out of there
    lalasha

    Answer by lalasha at 3:07 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • yeah if other men are falling in love with you i'd say that its not YOU, its him. so try counseling and if he refuses leave him
    aliciatron

    Answer by aliciatron at 4:24 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • Go to a marriage counselor, and talk about everything in your past and what you both expect to change.  The best marriage counselors are usually the ones affiliated with a Church, believe it or not!  Good luck to you

    orangeillusion

    Answer by orangeillusion at 4:48 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • It sounds like he might be cheating on you. That is way too suspicious. Hopefully he just stopped with porn, masturbating, and cybering and didn't seak out for another woman. Do everything you can to catch his attention like flirting, wearing loungeire, etc. if he still isn't interested in you then kick him to the curve and go find yourself someone who apreciates your beauty and makes you feel like a queen. Good luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:55 PM on Jan. 8, 2009