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My child is only 4 months and sometimes when she can't see me she freaks out and starts to throw a tantrum, well my dh tries to comfort her and has no success but the second she hears my voice again she stops crying. It makes him feel bad like he cant control or comfort her. The bad part is that it kinda makes me feel good that my baby knows me and wants me but it also makes me feel bad for him what should I do or tell him to make the situaition better?

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Asked by TINYFEET08 at 2:03 PM on Jan. 8, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (7)
  • It's a phase.....when they are about 2 yrs old they only want Daddy.....that too is a phase.

    Answer by Babylove76 at 2:08 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • I believe at this age an infant is not completely aware that they are not attached to you - literally. They have no concept of self. It would be a bit like saying where the hec did my arm go? So when you leave a part of your child has left in your child's opinion. A little freaky if you think about an appendage just walking away and, for all this kid knows, not coming back. Object permanence is also not yet there yet. So to your child, you and her are both one soul. At about seven months children finally figure it out that they are their own unique person and not part of mom or dad. Take this as a compliment that your child is connected to you in the most intimate way.  Just go about your business and know she is in good hands.  Your anxiety or frustration can be felt by your child.  So take some much needed breaks and let your capbable family handle it.


    Answer by frogdawg at 2:28 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • Baby will get to an age where all she wants is daddy and not mommy. His turn is coming, trust me LOL.

    Answer by BonesDragonDew at 2:34 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • My gf's daughter is 2 months old and used to come to me with no problem, now she only wants her mom and dad because she's with them all the time and I don't take it personal. Also, all three of mine went through it at one point. But all the moms who answered have hit the nail right on the head that these are just phases. There will come a time when she will be "Daddy's girl".

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 2:42 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • Let him hold and play with her while you are in the room. Then begin to disappear for short periods of time. Then keep increasing the time that you are away. My guess is that part of the reason is that he is a little nervous when he is handling her. Most men are. Little children sense that and it makes them uncomfortable, too. Your husband just needs to gain a little confidence, and he will do just fine. It's your job to help him feel more comfortable.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:01 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • i agree its a phase. it has nothing to do with him, or her lack of feelings towards him. in a few weeks, or in a few months she will get over it. by then you will be ready for her to want someone else for 5 minutes! lol

    Answer by ivelostmyself at 3:14 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • hmmmm something to make him feel better .. . . I told DD's papi that the day will come when she announces: "I love you so much I want to marry you, Daddy!" lol that stopped him feeling so insecure . . . and most little girls I know have said that to their daddy.

    Answer by epoh at 3:26 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

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