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How would you handle this?

My husband eats fairly quickly so he is done with dinner before everyone else most of the time. Often my SS (who is 5yo takes FOREVER to eat sometimes - because he likes to talk a lot ) will be eating okay and taking his time. The problem is, my husband will often go and get dessert before anyone else has finished - and often sits down at the table with whatever is it while SS is trying to eat.

I often try not to correct DH in front of the kid but last night he actually brought over the whole thing of cookies and was eating them while we were all still eating and I asked him why he felt he had to do that and couldn't wait 10-15 mins till we all had finished.

Am I being unreasonable here or do you think DH should learn some patience and wait to eat his dessert so SS won't be distracted by the junk food?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:33 PM on Jan. 8, 2009 in Food & Drink

Answers (8)
  • I'm with you! That's crazy!
    MomToFour247

    Answer by MomToFour247 at 2:38 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • No you are not being unreasonable...I feel your DH is acting like a kid himself. My BF eats and finishes well before us....most of the time he remains at the table because that is the best time to be talking to the kids. Help him to understand that he is of no help if he can not wait and work with you all as a family.
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 2:40 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • You could pose it as a respect issue...the family dinner table is a time to teach and learn respect for one another and how will your son learn this, and patience, if your husband doesn't set the example? Did your DH answer your question?
    3k1hcraze

    Answer by 3k1hcraze at 2:43 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • It's common courtesy to wait until everyone is finished, adult or child.

    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 2:45 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • i would ask him to wait and eat that way he's eating along with yall but not before yall. my son use to do the same thing, until we left him at the table a few times then he learn to eat at a certain pace where he could watch tv before going to bed. i'm not sayin you should rush your SS but they should know how to eat at a good pace where everyone isn't waiting on them to eat dessert and that's what's happening. i agree with your husband, but i don't agree with the tatics he's using. maybe he's trying to get your SS to eat faster
    MommaSyrup07

    Answer by MommaSyrup07 at 2:45 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • You are not being unreasonable. The rule in my house (me & my 2 kids, but I apply it to guests as well) is that NO ONE gets dessert until EVERYONE is done. There's times they complain and don't like it, but I just tell them that it's not fair that one person gets to start on it while everyone else is still finishing, and (of course this last part only works on the kids), whoever is starting dessert might eat more than their share and that wouldn't be fair either.
    I'd take him aside at some point and just tell him that he doesn't have to wait very long, but he needs to wait until everyone is done. Explain that you are trying to teach the children good eating habits, and it's very hard to do when they want to move on to what he's eating before they finish the healthy food on their plates.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 2:47 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • I don't think it's unreasonable at all...but I do think that since it's been a long-term problem, it should have been brought up to him--privately--prior to this. Explain to him that you'd like him to just hold off on dessert until everyone has finished with their meal. Tell him that it is his responsibility, as well as yours, to teach the kids good, healthy eating habits, so they can be healthy themselves. Ask him to wait until you serve dessert, which is not a lot to ask.

    We don't generally eat dessert with our meal, but, rather, about an hour later, after the dinner dishes are done. This way, there's no issue at the table about it.
    jespeach

    Answer by jespeach at 5:21 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • I guess I would be happy if my DH actually sat at the table with us to eat. He eats dinner at the computer playing his dang WOW game. Dessert in my house is always fruit. I honestly don't think you are being unreasonable. He is an adult, not a child; he should understand the art of patience.
    rcbrown

    Answer by rcbrown at 5:45 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

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