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Christmas presents from the ex

I have a DD with my ex who is 3 and a baby with my DH who is 1 month old. My ex is supposed to take DD for Christmas Eve dinner and have her home before bed. He said he will do presents with her then. Then I reminded him that I had told him earlier that any presents he gets her need to stay at his house. I explained to him that we don't have room for extra toys (and he is the kind of dad who buys love" so he buys her these huge presents that we have no room for then I have to get rid of some of our stuff to make room for it). Since we live in an apartment, we don't really have any storage space like we used to in the house we rented before. So all of the stuff we used to keep in the shed and attic (with the exception of the lawn equipment) now have to fit in the closets. Well he said that they are her toys and he will send them home with her if he wants to. I said no, it's my home, we don't have room for them so they need to stay at your house. I also mentioned that it would be a good thing for her to have toys at his house so when he does have her (which is usually only once a month, his choice) she has something to do besides watch TV. He said "well I don't have room". So for some reason, I am supposed to make room for these toys that he buys when he can't be bothered to do so? I plan on if he tried to drop her off with the toys I will tell her "tell daddy thank you for the toys and you will see them next time you come over, won't that be nice" and then hand them back. I may let her pick one to keep over here if he tries this but I really hope he doesn't. What would you do? BTW before people say "just make room" there is no room to make. All of the closets are full with stuff we need (like Christmas decorations, baby clothes from my DD that my younger one will wear and even stuff we use on a daily basis)

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:45 PM on Nov. 21, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (12)
  • tell him no go get her out of the car let her say bye and take her into the house end of story if he starts just say nope not gonna happen bye and walk away
    Marranna777

    Answer by Marranna777 at 6:45 PM on Feb. 16, 2012

  • No, she never spends the night. Anon, yeah at least he is getting her stuff he he needs to be responsible for it. minimo, he is not looking for anything long term so he doesn't care
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:19 PM on Nov. 22, 2011

  • I would say " you need to be able to have a bed for her, and a toy box. IF the women you date dont know you have a kid, they wont last as your lying to them, so stop trying to hide your dd" And if he dosnt have room at his house, then he needs to get a bigger one, at least somewhere she can have at least a toybox. No room? then where does she sleep? If she sleeps on the couch, then she could have a box of toys beside it couldnt she? tell him that/. If there is nooo room and he dosnt move, then he shouldnt be having her over.
    minimo77

    Answer by minimo77 at 3:15 PM on Nov. 22, 2011

  • Man, so there is always someone complaining that their ex dosnt buy anything for the kid, dosnt care, show up, and then there are ones like in this post where the complaining is that he " buys her love" at least he is getting her stuff.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:12 PM on Nov. 22, 2011

  • um, does she spend the nightover there??? If she does then he NEEDS to have a bed and a room for her. I dont know what state you are in but in ours its a MUST or no overnights at all are allowed.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:31 AM on Nov. 22, 2011

  • She doesn't have a bed at his house, she doesn't even have a corner or something to put her stuff. I think he likes to not keep stuff over there because I know he dates women who don't know he has a kid
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:22 AM on Nov. 22, 2011

  • The problem is he needs to buy toys that are size appropriate for both your houses. He can buy her several gifts that are nice but small in size... He can also buy her one of those Rubbermaid containers that snap lock shut. They arent much bigger than a big briefcase. Fill it with Barbies, and clothes, or Littlest Pet Shop stuff, or whatever your little girl would like, and she can take it back and forth to Daddy's house. It will easily slide under her bed. Or it can stay under her bed at his house. Christmas doesnt have to equal huge gifts. He should get gifts that are nice, just small in size
    Nimue930

    Answer by Nimue930 at 11:20 AM on Nov. 22, 2011

  • i would inform him strongly that you will be throwing away any toys she returns home with.
    kgrine

    Answer by kgrine at 6:51 AM on Nov. 22, 2011

  • I think you have every right to tell him he can't clutter your house. Especially if he's not wiling to clutter his. Tell him if HE doesn't have room for the big toys, maybe he should get her a toy box, and a bunch of small toys to fit in it AT HIS HOUSE. You dont need to accomidate him.
    mlmkjw

    Answer by mlmkjw at 8:11 PM on Nov. 21, 2011

  • well, I get rid of many toys before Santa and before Birthdays. IF he brings it what are you going to do "throw it away", I nderstand your issue but if she is with you more he probably wants her to be able to get the most use of it. You can take it back to prove a point but that would be sort of mean to your daughter so really the only thing you can do is lock your door and hide if he goes back out to the car to get it when he drops her off- not much you can do if hes stansing at the door with daughter and gift in hand.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:08 PM on Nov. 21, 2011

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Answers / Parenting / General Parenting

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