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My husband says we are becoming too old. Help!

We have been married 7 years and have 2 kids. I'm a sahm and he works full time goes to school part time does security at least once a month. He also has the hobby of ampguard. I do Bunko as an outlet. We both enjoy comic sci-fi and entertaining. We are comfortable but lost the spark and lust yet heven't even hit 30. Please help!


Asked by Anonymous at 8:47 PM on Jul. 16, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • You really do need the date night thing. if it is to hard to get a sitter try this. Sometimes I make dinner for the kids and put them to bed early, then I have a special dinner for my DH and I. I usually set it up in the basement away from the kids. We have a candle light dinner and then we either play a board game or cards.

    The other thing that we do is this. I know it is going to sound weird. We hug for 20 seconds everyday. We usually do this when he gets home from work. 20 seconds is a lot longer then you think and we do this without the kids. It is just the 2 of us.

    Lastly, we talk to each other everyday about our days. We try to take about 10 min in our room while he is changing out of his work clothes.
    I understand how hard this is. My DH and i have been married 10 years and we have 3 children and we are only in our early 30s. Good Luck!

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 10:44 PM on Jul. 16, 2008

  • Have date nights every week (if possible) and trade off picking the activity. I think the funnest thign would be to go to your city's make out point and MAKE OUT!!

    Answer by feesharose at 8:51 PM on Jul. 16, 2008

  • sounds like you guys need a vacation away from being busy.I would go to a hotel that offers child care and spa treatments.just spend the whole day relaxing,getting a massage and sit in the spa together, then take it back to your room and make out!

    Answer by countingsparows at 9:50 PM on Jul. 16, 2008

  • It's called the seven year itch. It will pass.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:21 PM on Jul. 16, 2008

  • Yes, the itch. You both need to work past it. He has a lot on his plate so your husband may need some extra stroking.

    Answer by Bevner at 11:47 PM on Jul. 16, 2008

  • There are so many things you can do to bring that "spark" back.
    Talk about your fantasies together, find out his "dream date" and make it happen.
    Even so much as watching porn together can bring out some "spark" but just doing that won't last forever.
    Once every couple of months ask him what he wants out of the relationship at that point in time, and you tell him what you want i.e. more cuddling, being told "I love you", one night out a week, some time alone, etc.
    It is totally healthy for someone to need a little time too, so don't get upset if he wants to "hang with friends" but try and bring the focus back on what YOU can do for him to make your relationship happier.
    You can also all of a sudden one night turn into a "freak" and do all of those things with him that you ever thought you would do. You can roll play too. Roll playing is GREAT for relationships that have lost a little " fizzle".

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:22 AM on Jul. 17, 2008

    You can also make sure to have a date night once a week to re-connect. Go out and do some of the things you used to do and have not in a while. And go out and trynew things together, exciting things.
    Get a wig and some new sexy outfits, get some toys.
    Make love more often. You can also just lay there with him inside you for a couple min, during this time tell him you love him and have him do the same for you ( this reinforces your closeness) Make love in certian positions that reinforce your connection. Be a slave to him for a evening, and have him be your slave the next time.
    Kiss him a lot throught the day, touch his hands and shoulders, lower back, etc. Even when you are just walking past him touch him somehow. PLace his hand on the small of your back if you two are standing next to eachother.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:33 AM on Jul. 17, 2008

    Men also, especially when they have many kids, or are new parents tend to feel left out a lot, they might also feel neglected by you in a way. Remember there was a time when all of your attention when to him.
    He may also be losing some sex drive, which is totally normal. He might be embarassed to admit it or speak to a Dr about it. If he is having trouble with his sex drive and or with erections he shoudl speak to his Dr.
    There are many medical reasons why a man might lose some sex drive. And because men are taught that they should always want sex he may make up excuses for why he should nothave sex.
    Good luck and I hope this helps.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:33 AM on Jul. 17, 2008