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my son is 5 and I cant get him to listen to me no matter what I do, what can I do?

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Asked by vlulrick at 3:12 PM on Jun. 19, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (7)
  • First give him a warning and tell him that if he doesn't listen again, he will go on a time-out chair or a time-out mat. Set this up away from television or distractions, but never his room. 1 minute of each year of his age. He will get up to test you if you mean it. The first time you take him back to the time-out spot and tell him. Time out starts all over again for 5 minutes every time you get up. The second time, take him back and sit him down and don't say a word. It will probably wear you out, before it wears him out, and patience and persistance here are the key. Also consistancy. If you set on this path, see it thru. Do not waver. He will get the message after you have done this a couple of separate times, that you are indeed the boss and YOU set the rules. Good Luck.

    Answer by Synnoveah at 3:20 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • the answer above is right on! My son did this A LOT when he was younger also, we did what the poster above said and he turned around quick. Nanny 911 is a great show to watch for tips and pointers, that's where this advice comes from

    Answer by misty1_sd at 3:28 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • He is testing you big time, to see how far he can take it. Do not give up on him and do not fold either. My son is 6 and he is now into this I"m throwing a fit period, which he's never done before. Sometimes I want to hang him for the ceiling fan, but of course I can't LOL, But seriously, you have to say no and mean it, not no one time and yes the next 20 times. If you say something , make him do it, if not explain the consequences and then let him have it if he doesn't listen..
    It will pass but you need to stay firm with him..
    Good luck

    Answer by Briandanielsmom at 5:07 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • Consistency is key. You have to make sure that he know when you tell him to do something there will be consequences if he doesn't do it. For a while it will be tough because he will test you at the most inconvenient times. But you have to pick consequences that you are comfortable following through with in any situation. If you cave one time, it will only make him push you harder the next time. Each kid responds to different kinds of consequences. A friend of mine has a son that won't respond to time out, but take away his video games and he will walk the straght and narrow. So if one thing doesn't seem to make an impact try something else. And remember, you aren't being mean. You are teaching him lessons that will help him understand authority and consequences as an adult.

    Answer by firstimemom4049 at 5:31 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • I am having the same problem with my almost 5 year old son....A lot of it for him is that he is so hyper active..short attention span can cause them to tune you out...what I would suggest is have a set consistent with ALL things you tell that if say he threw a toy the punishment for doing that is the same and not let it slide once....A lot of times boys in this age group especially like to push it to the limits to see how far they can get away with things...I have had to talk to my son's doctor cause it gotten out of hand for me...and environmental factors also impact a childs' response to things...If you are stressed and strained your son will pick up on it so get support stay focused and communicate with your son, explain to him (at his level) why we have rules....if he is still having issues and you are at your wits end..I suggest talking to his pediatrician for tips...My son's pediatrician let me borrow a book called "The Explosive Child" it really helped

    Answer by thetrivetts at 7:14 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • my son is the most stubborn. traditional time outs didn't work. instead i put his TOYS in time out. the first time (major meltdown from him) i probably put 3/4 of his toys in timeout before he realized i was serious. when he finally calmed down and apologized, he immediatly asked for his toys. i explained that he had to earn them back (another meltdown). since then he get to pick a toy out of timeout for everytime he does something good (i.e. clean his room, eat his dinner, be nice for no reason etc) no matter how small. it's helped me notice the good things (so he could earn his toys back) and helped him calm down because he doesn't want to lose his toys.

    Answer by ibsqueen2004 at 10:16 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • When ever he's acting up and you need to say something to him make him look you in the eye when you talk to him, get down to his level and even hold his face if you need to...explain to him his behavior is unacceptable, and give him a warning that if he does that again he'll be in time out...or whatever punishment you chose to use.

    Answer by robinann5 at 11:19 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

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