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What would you do if you saw this?

I am no "perfect parent", but the behavior of a friend of mine has been baffling me. When she changes her 2 year old's diapers, she will leave the dirty diapers just laying around the house on the floor and not throw them out (which is unsanitary!) She also lets her toddler outside in the middle of winter with bare feet and no jacket/sweater/hat/etc when it's 40 degrees or less. I feel as though I should intervene and say something to her, but at the same time it's not my kid. However, I still wrestle with the fact that if I didn't say something, one day I could be held accountable for this child's welfare. What would anybody do if they saw this sort of behavior?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:54 PM on Jan. 8, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (14)
  • I would say something...Personally I wouldnt care what she thought...I am very outspoken though...Someone has to stick up for the well being of children..Its too bad it cant be his/her own parent...

    Answer by calaid at 10:57 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • Those things aren't good but it's not extremely bad either. If she's your friend you can mention things like "don't you think it's cold outside" but otherwise, I don't think that's enough to complain about

    Answer by momofpurebliss at 10:59 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • I agree i would say something, that poor child could get really sick and end up in the hospital or something and then u might feel bad later cause u didnt say something to her.... Just talk to her from mom to mom.... maybe invite her over or go over to her house...

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:00 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • Frankly, if you are not comfortable talking to her, consider an annoymous call to CPS.

    Answer by kaycee14 at 11:03 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • I don't think some of you should be ready to tell her to call cps. You don't know the whole situation. It might only have been she didn't get to the diaper that second. Maybe the kids run outside bare feet to grab something and come back in. I think there is much worse things that I have seen that warrant a call to cps. I wouldnt wont someone judgeing the way I do things. I'm not saying that what she is doing is okay. Just that I would look at the things I do more than worring about minor things like that. She could get in alot of trouble from cps because of stupid calls like this and I'm sure she is a good mom. Also, cold weather does not make you sick.

    Answer by momofpurebliss at 11:07 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • As far as the diapers go when you see her change her childs diaper I would say something like "Would you like me to throw that away for you?" It may trip a trigger in her brain. maybe you tell her a story about a friend of yours who was recently reported to cps for a dangerously unsanitary home and letting her children run the streets barefoot and how you felt guilty you didnt say something to her before someone called cps. I would more or less tell her what she is doing is dangerous without actually telling her. If you dont see improvement you owe it to the child to make an anonymous call to cps

    Answer by humaniterian87 at 11:12 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • Seriously are you guys really thinking that leaving a diaper laying around before you have a chance to get to it is that unsanitary? I've been known to leave a diaper lying around for a while but I have 3 kids and often don't get to that kind of thing right away. Not that I leave it out for hours or days or anything.
    If she is letting her child out that often kindly mention to her the dangers of her baby being in the snow without proper clothing.

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 11:20 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • "one day I could be accountable for this child's welfare". How can you possibly be accountable for the child's welfare one day?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:21 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • I also have a friend that does this ( among other very troubling things) but she has 3 kids and I just don't have the heart to say anything to her....

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:42 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

  • Pick up the diapers for her, then ask her where her trash can is. It will embarass her, but she will get the point. As for the shoe issue, next time you see her kid out without shoes, grab her shoes for her, and put them on the baby. Buy a pair of cheap shoes and keep them with you. Give them to her, then you have a ligitimate reason to ask where her shoes are.

    Answer by 3gifts.from.god at 11:58 PM on Jan. 8, 2009

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